Creeps who make us miserable

[bretonrae]

How in the world do you investigate a new member off the only recruiting list available, please? We got a player who only joined with oppressive drama dominating chat and pushing harshly to members demanding daily multiple trades with tough sounding chat posts. Then pretending to be someone that is hurt when members don't repay his kps donations in like kind...do you just eject these creeps or how can you know they are just destructive and climbers to the membership? They make huge participation promises but drop out immediate!y when they get what they want from us...this is very unpleasant.

 

[Iyapo]

You should definitely eject anyone who joins and engages in any behavior that you think is destructive to your fellowship. Checking them out on elvenstats will give you a snapshot of their game performance and fellowship history.

 

[Myne]

How in the world do you investigate a new member off the only recruiting list available, please? We got a player who only joined with oppressive drama dominating chat and pushing harshly to members demanding daily multiple trades with tough sounding chat posts. Then pretending to be someone that is hurt when members don't repay his kps donations in like kind...do you just eject these creeps or how can you know they are just destructive and climbers to the membership? They make huge participation promises but drop out immediate!y when they get what they want from us...this is very unpleasant.

Warn them first, then break out the trebuchet and fire away when they violate again.
I hope they are not like one I booted and want to argue about it....from outside the fellowship. lol

 

[Henroo]

@bretonrae When you check out a prospective member on elvenstats, look at their fellowship history. If a player is constantly switching fellowships every few months, that could be a red flag of problem behavior. However: I don't think it ever hurts to give somebody a shot. If they turn out to be a problem child, just push the eject button.

 

[crackie]

People like to say, "It's just a game" when AMs get trebuchet happy, and I say, "Yeah, exactly...I don't need drama, grief, or babysit manbabies in a game, so see you later." They've been liberated to do whatever they want...in someone else's FS.

 

[Deleted User - 849411552]

The person you are describing sounds so much like the creep who was with us for a couple of weeks that I was sure it was the same person. I guess there is more than one of them on Sinya Arda!

I let him stay that long because I thought it was a problem with his understanding of English (not his mother tongue). But actually there was no problem with English at all. A tip-off should have been that he could never seem to stay in a fellowship for more than a week or two. In some fellowships he was fired the very same day. He caused some real drama on the way out, but that actually helped unite the fellowship in common revulsion.

I really think the guy in question has mental issues. He did try hassling some of our people after departure. I advised them to press the report button on the message board (the exclamation mark in red) - problem solved.

 

[Yogi Dave]

I'd maybe give them a warning if they are just being obnoxious, but abusive or crass. I'd send them a private message saying without malice why they are being booted. Something like they don't fit the culture of this FS. Then boot them and be done with them. If you get an abusive message back from them, don't reply. Block them from sending you messages. I think that lets you report the reason you blocked them.

 

[Deleted User - 849411552]

Yes, it does. And they are instantly blocked - no procedures to go through with customer support.

 

[BadWon]

If someone acts like an idiot, you simply DUMP them....easy peasy.....

 

[SecondBestPolicy]

They should form their own FS, perhaps the 'Creep Cluster' or something. Might be entertaining to see what happens when you put 25 of them together in one room.

 

[bretonrae]

You should definitely eject anyone who joins and engages in any behavior that you think is destructive to your fellowship. Checking them out on elvenstats will give you a snapshot of their game performance and fellowship history.

Thank you...would their game history show their behaviors though? I know it could show how often they jump in and out of Fellowships and how long they were there.

 

[bretonrae]

Okay, thanks so much for all your very supportive replies. I was feeling used and abused for losing all our nice people's trades and kps....ugh...plus the horrible dominated chat.

 

[SoulsSilhouette]

Most regulars know that my Khel fellowship is small and therefore doesn't warrant an opinion or notice... but in this instance it is a good thing. I've had a few toxic players over the years and I've done one simple thing. I write an email... eloquently stating the scope of the fellowship dynamic, which is not like middle to upper fellowships... we are a Dory fellowship.... just keep swimming, just keep swimming.... They have left quietly and not really bothered me after that.

 

[Yogi Dave]

Thank you...would their game history show their behaviors though? I know it could show how often they jump in and out of Fellowships and how long they were there.

Nope, no way to really see their behavior. I don't think there should be since it becomes significantly subjective.

Rapid jumps between lots of FSs can be an indication. Of course, that could because they are looking for a compatible FS for them and keep joining a wrong one, which still isn't a good sign. Having them communicate why they are looking for a different FS is important.

I've had people outside my FS ask about why a person left. Often, it's because they have found us too intense or not intense enough or RL is making them cut back on time. They leave on good terms since they've let us know their reasons. If they left for negative reasons (i.e. we had to kicked them out due to bad behavior) I'll only say they didn't fit our FS culture. So, that's one way, but by the time you get info back, they've probably joined another FS. We've had to do that only twice and we did it quickly.

A dialog between you and them would be and was the best way, but that's hard to do and them still be available to join. So, what we do in my FS is use ElvenStats to look at their rate of progress, tourney average, FSs they've been in and for how long and use ElvenArch to look at not only their city arrangement, but their AW mix and levels and are they a caterer, fighter or hybrid. We no longer look at what goods they produce since it's not that hard to balance goods in our FS anymore. Chapter doesn't make much of a difference. We recently took in a new tech tree ch 3 person. (Special case since we knew info about her.) You can't do tourney or spire in ch 3. With mentoring she worked fast to get into ch 6. She is getting to the top of the spire most weeks and has a tourney average over 3k now. Overall, getting a good message from the person saying why they are leaving their FS and why they are looking at you will tell you the most.

While frustrating and it's hard mentally to do so, kick them out after one warning and no change in behavior, especially if they don't respond to your message. It's not fair to the FS to keep someone disrupting it around as that may cause good members to leave. I like @SoulsSilhouette's response. Keep it as civil as you can when letting them know they are going to be removed if they don't change. Don't get drawn into their drama. We've only had one person who wanted to argue with us over reasons and even sent a message to others in the FS after they were kicked out.

 

[Deleted User - 849411552]

They should form their own FS, perhaps the 'Creep Cluster' or something. Might be entertaining to see what happens when you put 25 of them together in one room.

It sure would be!

I've been thinking about this too, where do the creeps all end up after they've worked their way through all the sane fellowships? I was thinking of "The Fourth Circle of Hell" (Greed). They obviously value things more than people.

 

[Katwick]

where do the creeps all end up

That's the beauty of Karma. Wherever they go, there's at least ONE Creep that they have to deal with.

 

[ajqtrz]

Sadly, there is a connection between being a creep and the brain. Most of the time the creep is pretty certain of himself/herself (creeps are more often male, btw). The distinction is in the size of their corpus collosom. The smaller and less dense it is, the less communciation flows between the two sides of the brain. Since many things are perceived by each side of the brain differently, you often get two basic answers/understandings to the same question/experience. The amount of information needed to understand and see both "answers" at once is sometimes more than the connections can handle, resulting in the anxiety of being very, very, unsure as the brain tries to resolve the problem. Failing to do so, to reduce the anxiety, the person often decides one or the other is the "truth" and, to protect themselves from the anxiety, sticks to that "answer" to the point of bravado, certainty and so on.

Now the technical problem in this is a low tolerance for ambiguity, and it's most prevalent at the extremes of any group. In politics those with this condition tend to be easily belligerent and assertive with little regard for their opponents point of view. It's a defense mechanism on their part and part of the reason we are so divided.

And, as the French adverb says, "To understand all is to forgive all." Thus, you may not like them in your fellowship and they might have to be tossed out, but at least they can probably be forgiven for being a jerk.

AJ

 

[bretonrae]

Thanks for sharing your experiences and wisdom here, everyone!

 

[XLWizard]

I keep a box of leeches and threaten any abusive players with them. One of our other players has a guillotine. I've also been known to cast a stinky toe fungus spell on some of the more obtrusive players. I mean what good is being a Wizard if you don't cast a few spells.

 

[bretonrae]

Sadly, there is a connection between being a creep and the brain. Most of the time the creep is pretty certain of himself/herself (creeps are more often male, btw). The distinction is in the size of their corpus collosom. The smaller and less dense it is, the less communciation flows between the two sides of the brain. Since many things are perceived by each side of the brain differently, you often get two basic answers/understandings to the same question/experience. The amount of information needed to understand and see both "answers" at once is sometimes more than the connections can handle, resulting in the anxiety of being very, very, unsure as the brain tries to resolve the problem. Failing to do so, to reduce the anxiety, the person often decides one or the other is the "truth" and, to protect themselves from the anxiety, sticks to that "answer" to the point of bravado, certainty and so on.

Now the technical problem in this is a low tolerance for ambiguity, and it's most prevalent at the extremes of any group. In politics those with this condition tend to be easily belligerent and assertive with little regard for their opponents point of view. It's a defense mechanism on their part and part of the reason we are so divided.

And, as the French adverb says, "To understand all is to forgive all." Thus, you may not like them in your fellowship and they might have to be tossed out, but at least they can probably be forgiven for being a jerk.

AJ

You got that right!

It sure would be!

I've been thinking about this too, where do the creeps all end up after they've worked their way through all the sane fellowships? I was thinking of "The Fourth Circle of Hell" (Greed). They obviously value things more than people.