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Avoiding Discomfort

ajqtrz

Chef - loquacious Old Dog
Most of us find ourselves constantly in a state of minor discomfort. By minor I simply mean a ache here or a twinge there. Major discomfort though, often flows from ignoring minor discomforts and thus, allowing real problems to fester and grow.

There are, in general, three types of discomfort. Mental, physical, and relational. Mental discomfort is when you think and expect something to be true or to be a certain way and it isn't when you encounter it. It might be that you expected a recipe to be delicious and, you thought, you followed it exactly, but it turned out awful. The recipe is an example of a mental idea you follow to reach a goal. That you didn't reach the goal causes you to question what happened and why. A physical discomfort is the physical pain you might feel as you sit. And finally, relational discomfort is usually found when you expect a certain reaction from a friend or loved one and they react differently than you expected.

All three type of discomfort cause you to suffer in some way and almost always the reaction to the discomfort is not to solve any underlying cause, but to simply alleviate the discomfort. You look at the recipe and discover it has a spice in it you detest so next time you leave that spice out. You shift your sitting position to alleviate the pain in your side. You reflect upon what you just said to your friend and discover it wasn't clear or exactly what you meant so you correct what you said to be a better fit with what you wanted to say and your friend reacts as you expected.

Not the point of all this is that when we feel discomfort we move to alleviate the discomfort, but not always in the manner we should because in adopting the immeditate "fix" we may be ignoring something more significant "beneath" the discomfort. In the case of the recipe it may be that we don't like that spice, but the reality might be that we don't like that spice in relation to some other spice, both of which are in the recipe. The removal of the "offending" spice from all recipes may fix that particular recipe, but it effects a lot of other recipes in which the spice is used and those may actually be harmed by it's automatic removal. In other words, the "cure" for the initial discomfort may be harmful in other ways. The shifting of our sitting position may alleviate the pain in our side, but maybe the problems is we have a torn muscle from overworking and, in the long run, we need to change our workout routine. And if we adjust our words to get the desired reaction from our friend we may be ignoring a fundamental division between us that will be sure to pop up again and again.

In all three cases we have solved the immediate problem of discomfort, but we have not solved the cause of the discomfort. Generally speaking this is how we operate. We focus on the discomfort and pick the first and easiest solution. If it works we think, "problem solved." We forget that often the problem is not the symptom, but something more fundamental. Pain or discomfort is a symptom, not a problem. It is often a symptom trying to get us to pay attention to the problem but in that we too often, I think, would rather just deal with the symptom because dealing with the problem is way, way too hard and, in the short run, may cause us a lot more pain than we are brave enough to face.

So if you are uncomfortable with something do stop to ask yourself if it's something that keeps recurring. That's one of the signs that the short term fix isn't solving the real problem. Second, if it's recurring don't just say to yourself, "I'll just make the same adjustment I've always made and alleviate the discomfort like I've always done." The problem with this approach is that, like most things, fixing the real problem early is usually better than waiting until the little thing becomes a big thing.

Just some thoughts on discomfort triggered by a conversation on the same I had recently.

AJ
 

shimmerfly

Well-Known Member
The problem with this approach is that, like most things, fixing the real problem early is usually better than waiting until the little thing becomes a big thing.


All true.

You get a whisper in your ear and ignore it.
You get a tap on your shoulder and ignore it.
Then you get a big hard whack on the head hard enough that you can no longer ignore.
 
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