Of course you two will never be able to agree on this one, simply beause you are practising different kinds of playstyles with different principles.
There is no need to agree with each other! Elvenar can be played in so many different ways, one thing I always liked about the game.
To me it always seemed important to accept and respect every kind of playstyle and maybe explain something to a human or elv, but not to try to influence them fellows in any way.
As an archmage I am hoping that by this every fellow is able to feel a little bit more "free" ingame.
Preventing any kind of "felt pressure" may lead to satisfied fellows, that will hopefully not loose their fun of playing Elvenar that fast.
"Come as you are mentality"
Not long ago for example a fellow joined my fellowship who was at more than a million points and only had one single wonder.
He said straight away, that he is going to participate in everything but the KP chains.
I was a little irritated first but I thought that after having played Elvenar that long the individual playstyle should already be consolidated.
So I told him that he is welcome and that it would be absolutely no problem to not take part in KP chains - there is no must for anybody in "my" fellowship to do so.
Why don't you two agree on the fact that some humans and elves like to fix on Ancient Wonders and some don't, I think you already did this several times.
I like to concentrate on Ancient Wonders, leveling up and checking if the impact of the strengthend effect is noticeable for example in tournament.
But I know that there are lots of fellows who are not so interested in it, they are partly happy with just a little participation in tournament and are not so enthusiastic about the game as I am.
But who would I be if would try to "force" my fellows to spend more time ingame than they would have originally wanted to spend?
And wouldn't that somehow destroy the cozy character of Elvenar?