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    Your Elvenar Team

Cross Breed Mythical Creature Dumbness

CrusaderMichael

Active Member
So I was eating a crab and thought... "Why on earth are there half-elves, and half-orcs, but no half-dwarves, or half-gnomes?"

I asked my girlfriend and she said, "I don't know. Are you thinking of mating with a gnome?".

No.

But seriously... some human said "woah look at that orc, OH BABY !!!"... and 9 months later a half-orc appeared. But somehow that same human thought, "look at that gnome girl, NO WAY AM I DATING THAT !!!"

I don't understand why someone would turn down a gnome, or a dwarf girl, and drive up in his car and hit on the orc girl instead.

Half-elves can exist, the product of a human and an elf, but NO WAY CAN WE DUMB WRITERS WRITE ABOUT HALF GNOMES !!!

I'd much rather read about a half-gnome than some wussy half-elf any day.

And, why are all the halves, ALWAYS half human? Why can't a half-elf be half dwarf? Or why can't a halfling mate with a dwarf?

We have half-elves, WE COULD HAVE HALF-HALFLINGS !!!

And if yer some fool who wants to breed with an orc, maybe you might consider marrying a giant frog?

And, while we're at it... if a giant is twice the size of a human. And a halfling is half a man... why aren't giants called doublelings?

OK that would be dumb I agree, BUT NOWHERE NEAR AS DUMB AS SOME DUDE WANTING TO MARRY AN ORC !!!

If you want to marry an orc, please, seek help.
 

CrusaderMichael

Active Member
For me, it'd be fear of tangling our beards together.

I forgot about dwarf girls having beards. No wonder they stay outa sight in caves.

"I'm Smaug, the meanest, coolest dragon in middle earth. Where should I go to make my lair? I KNOW... those freaks and their bearded women... DIE !!!!!!!!!!!!!! "

It all makes sense now.
 

NightshadeCS

Well-Known Member
If anyone has ever played Mass Effect, you will cease to be surprised at what sort of inter-species action some people like to have. ;) :p
 

CrusaderMichael

Active Member
If anyone has ever played Mass Effect, you will cease to be surprised at what sort of inter-species action some people like to have. ;) :p

"Shut up mom. You can't tell me who I can and can't date. LOVE IS LOVE !!! ... I'll marry this octopus I fished out of the ocean, and you can't stop me !!!"

That's how the Mindflayer race started in D&D.

I hope Elvenar passes laws against this interspecies breeding stuff. Just like apparently Mass Effect people should have.
 

CrusaderMichael

Active Member
It's only not violence if no one pushes you off that cliff.

this is kind of foreboding... i have this overwhelming urge now to watch my back from random people who want to push me off a cliff that isn't even within miles of me... HOW DID YOU DO THAT? !!

(that's the last time i talk about creating centaur babies with a horse, even as a joke)

Hey... i wonder how minotaurs are made....
 

SoggyShorts

Mathematician par Excellence
If i ever fall in love with a horse and hope to create centaurs,
centaur.jpg
 

Gath Of Baal

Well-Known Member
In most fantasy, Anime and Games, That I have read, watched or played, were there are several different races sharing the same world, the majority of crossbreeds come as the result of War, Raids, Pillaging Etc. Where females are, uhmmmm , how to put this, uhmmm, ok lets say , "Spoils of War" And it works out mostly Human Females are taken as "Spoils Of War"

I think the reason behind a lot of Half Orcs, Half Ogres, Half Goblins, Half Trolls Etc, is that these are typically "Bad Guy" races that cause all the trouble.

I also think the reason you do not find any crossbreed with dwarves, Elves, halflings etc is that these are good races and they are not supposed to do that type of stuff towards each other like a Halfling Dwarf combo.

I would think that the reason for Half Elves or any other crossbreed from a "Good" race would come as a result of Humans War, Raiding, Pillaging Etc and is probably a Human male with a female of one of the other races as in the case of most Half Elves since the females most closely resemble Human. I would consider Humans a Neutral race the most capable of either doing good or evil.

There are instances of "True Love" but those are far and few between
 

Deleted User - 3932582

Guest
I also think the reason you do not find any crossbreed with dwarves, Elves, halflings etc
But you do. In D&D, pretty much all combinations exist. So there are dwarf hybrids with humans, elves, gnomes, halflings, dragons. There are elf hybrids with humans, dwarves, halflings, eladrin, fiends, dragons. There are halfling ones with dwarves, elves, dragons, harpies, goblins, satyrs. Anything goes in D&D.
 

Gath Of Baal

Well-Known Member
But you do. In D&D, pretty much all combinations exist. So there are dwarf hybrids with humans, elves, gnomes, halflings, dragons. There are elf hybrids with humans, dwarves, halflings, eladrin, fiends, dragons. There are halfling ones with dwarves, elves, dragons, harpies, goblins, satyrs. Anything goes in D&D.


Yes that is why i stopped playing at 2nd Ed, the game keeps getting crazier and crazier each Edition as they try to 1 up the last Edition. Now it just sounds plain crazy
 

CrusaderMichael

Active Member
1) haha Soggy.

2) Gath... Aragorn in lord of the rings, is part elf. One of his famous ancestors was Elros, a half elf. Some of the good races married each other though it was very rare due to wars etc. But yeah for orcs (d&d, and tolkien) they bred the way you describe.

3) MinMax yes, now. D&D didn't always have this. They originally followed tolkien designs that way with half elves only (and half orcs). Everything else came after though i do find it odd they chose to have genetics not really matter to the point a dragon could breed with a human. Or any other weird combination they could come up with. I prefer Tolkien's way of doing things best.... very very rare such interbreeding happened because of the cultural distrust between the races. Kept things simple. And never once a dwarf human crossbreed (that i ever read about). Lets us focus on story instead of all the odd possibilities. Not that it matters but sauron i think was a werewolf or wolf-thing naturally. Though i guess ultimately he was a spirit.

4) (imagining centaur babies galloping toward me in the distance... screaming for a bottle).

5) what if a minotaur, breeds with a centaur.... human bottom half, human top half.... MAYBE THAT'S HOW HUMANS WERE CREATED !!!
 
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