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    Your Elvenar Team

Discussion Elvenar Recipe contest

crackie

Chef, Scroll-Keeper, Buddy's #1 Fan
@Astram and I are exploring some new forum titles, just to shake things up a bit
I hope Philologist and Trapeze Artist make the cut.

inb4 guy (or gal ) dwarf with a hammer in one hand and and a mug of genuine strawberry ale in the other singing belting out boisterous and bawdy tavern tunes bartop ballads. Which would only be offensive to elves, but only because they're not drunk enough to deal with it either
You know who will destroy everyone in Elvenar karaoke? Banshee. She probably has a 6 octave range. She can hit all the high notes and break all the strawberry ale mugs doing it.
 

Kadhrin

Active Member
inb4 guy (or gal ) dwarf with a hammer in one hand and and a mug of genuine strawberry ale in the other singing belting out boisterous and bawdy tavern tunes bartop ballads. Which would only be offensive to elves, but only because they're not drunk enough to deal with it either
Ooooh, I was thinking about doing a dwarf anyways… I could do a legit medieval drinking song that’s been translated from Latin into Klingon Dwarven.

(…….and now I want to actually do this for a sci-fi convention……)
 
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Zoof

Well-Known Member
Okay. Now I'm suddenly imagining a big burly guy who lost a fight with a bucket of green paint shouting a surprisingly coherent battle hymn about how just about the only respectable race hereto discovered are the dwarves while lamenting their short stature and their affiliation with stupid stick figure strudels and worrisomely willowy wicker wenches who are too wiry to wrathfully wield a wide warhammer.

Add a barbecue with oversized cuts of oddly-shaped meats roasting on a spit over an open pit for an extra bit of authenticity.

---

@crackie I finally managed to gather up ingredients for a somewhat lazier version of your Rather Radioactive Recipe, though when I was shopping, I was going by memory so... uh. yeah.

Since I already had the butter, what I got was:
* 6.75 oz bag of Walmart brand pre-popped cheddar popcorn
* 8.5 oz bag of Flamin' Hot (Crunchy) Cheetos
* 10 oz bag of wally-world type mini marshmallows
* 8 oz bag of Swedish Fish

Hoping to get to crackling cooking on Monday or Tuesday
 

crackie

Chef, Scroll-Keeper, Buddy's #1 Fan
* 6.75 oz bag of Walmart brand pre-popped cheddar popcorn
I am loving that you read the recipe and thought it needed the addition of cheddar to the flavor profile. :D
I hope you're not a diabetic because the Swedish Fish + marshmallow combo is a very intense sugar shock, strong enough to overpower the steady Flaming Hot Cheetos burn. Is someone going to help you eat any of it? I did end up having to use more popcorn because I had made the little figures first and learned the explosion had to look bigger in comparison. I had to keep compacting it to hold its shape so it would get smaller. My friend kept saying it needed to be bigger so I kept adding more popcorn until we ran out. She even offered to go back to the store to get more so I can avoid another embarrassing receipt incident. In the end, I was dreading having to melt more marshmallow to accommodate the additional popcorn and...well, nobody was going to help me eat any of it after all the popcorn used! Also, like 3hrs after I've already cleaned everything up, I randomly discovered I had a goop of marshmallow on my shin. :oops:
 

crackie

Chef, Scroll-Keeper, Buddy's #1 Fan
(Permission was obtained to share this convo…)
A player asked to join my FS. I was surprised to learn the person is from Denmark. Woohoo, we're getting a viking! I guess I will have to follow through about the breadcrumb story. And then I asked, “What is the General Tso’s Chicken of Danish cuisine, if that sentence even makes sense to you?” YES, I WENT THERE! I have a curious mind and a hungry belly. I need to know these things. For example, I thought the General Tso's Chicken of Indian food was Tendori Chicken, but apparently it's Butter Chicken and Tendori Chicken can be hit or miss. This mistake has led to two poor experiences that may or may not involve smallest rooms and now I have to be chaperoned whenever I go eat Indian food. So what is the popular, well-known, “safe” go-to Danish food (that may not even be authentically Danish)? I don't have the budget to eat at Noma to learn for myself. Nothing comes to mind except, well, the danish. To my surprise, I was asked back, "What is a danish?" Whaaaa...aaat? A Dane just asked me what’s a danish?? :eek: *POOF* Mind. Is. Blown. But I suppose they would just call it pastry over there. I pasted the Merriam-Webster dictionary definition of Danish: “1. The Germanic language of the Danes 2. Plural Danish: a piece of Danish pastry”.

Then I got a second reply saying, “I googled, we call it wiener brød (wiener bread). I assume named after the capitol in Austria...” Wiener, as in like hot dog-esque products? What does that have to do with a danish? A danish is also nothing like a hot dog bun either, that I know of. Plus, isn’t the capitol of Austria Vienna? Did I miss @MaidenFair or @Darielle's etymology class where it was explained Vienna was derived from wiener? <confused> Still. Imagine being a Dane having to google a danish! This has epic level entertainment value. Like, imagine an American having to sit at their computer to google American. Finally, I got, “I think the national dish is stegt flæsk med persillesovs.” No...that clearly CAN’T be the General Tso’s chicken of Danish cuisine because I don’t even know what the heck you just said to me! And then the conversation ends with, “To add to the confusion then, we call this french potatoes in Danish: (inserts picture of potato chips).” What? Come onnnnn, I’ve watched enough Food Network to know French is a type of cut and that's NOT IT!

Well, I'm now going to add "Got a Dane to google danish" on my list of personal achievements, right under "Inventing a snack even helya wouldn't stash". All very useful and marketable traits. Thank you, Elvenar, for helping me expand my culinary résumé. I look forward to asking a Swede about Swedish Fish next.
 

Darielle

Chef, Scroll-Keeper, and Buddy Fan Club Member
(Permission was obtained to share this convo…)
A player asked to join my FS. I was surprised to learn the person is from Denmark. Woohoo, we're getting a viking! I guess I will have to follow through about the breadcrumb story. And then I asked, “What is the General Tso’s Chicken of Danish cuisine, if that sentence even makes sense to you?” YES, I WENT THERE! I have a curious mind and a hungry belly. I need to know these things. For example, I thought the General Tso's Chicken of Indian food was Tendori Chicken, but apparently it's Butter Chicken and Tendori Chicken can be hit or miss. This mistake has led to two poor experiences that may or may not involve smallest rooms and now I have to be chaperoned whenever I go eat Indian food. So what is the popular, well-known, “safe” go-to Danish food (that may not even be authentically Danish)? I don't have the budget to eat at Noma to learn for myself. Nothing comes to mind except, well, the danish. To my surprise, I was asked back, "What is a danish?" Whaaaa...aaat? A Dane just asked me what’s a danish?? :eek: *POOF* Mind. Is. Blown. But I suppose they would just call it pastry over there. I pasted the Merriam-Webster dictionary definition of Danish: “1. The Germanic language of the Danes 2. Plural Danish: a piece of Danish pastry”.

Then I got a second reply saying, “I googled, we call it wiener brød (wiener bread). I assume named after the capitol in Austria...” Wiener, as in like hot dog-esque products? What does that have to do with a danish? A danish is also nothing like a hot dog bun either, that I know of. Plus, isn’t the capitol of Austria Vienna? Did I miss @MaidenFair or @Darielle's etymology class where it was explained Vienna was derived from wiener? <confused> Still. Imagine being a Dane having to google a danish! This has epic level entertainment value. Like, imagine an American having to sit at their computer to google American. Finally, I got, “I think the national dish is stegt flæsk med persillesovs.” No...that clearly CAN’T be the General Tso’s chicken of Danish cuisine because I don’t even know what the heck you just said to me! And then the conversation ends with, “To add to the confusion then, we call this french potatoes in Danish: (inserts picture of potato chips).” What? Come onnnnn, I’ve watched enough Food Network to know French is a type of cut and that's NOT IT!

Well, I'm now going to add "Got a Dane to google danish" on my list of personal achievements, right under "Inventing a snack even helya wouldn't stash". All very useful and marketable traits. Thank you, Elvenar, for helping me expand my culinary résumé. I look forward to asking a Swede about Swedish Fish next.
Rofl! I was surprised when I was first studying German (and I still mangle the language pretty badly) and learned that Vienna was Wien there, but I never dreamed that a Danish wouldn't know what a danish is, LOL! Then again, an Italian friend once told me that Spaghetti and Meatballs in Italy was nothing like what we call Spaghetti and Meatballs. I've always been confused by the quirks in language. When Germans speak of potato salad, they say kartoffel salat. But when they speak of french fries, they say pomme frit. Why not call them kartoffel frit? Makes no sense to me, lol.
 

crackie

Chef, Scroll-Keeper, Buddy's #1 Fan
I was surprised when I was first studying German (and I still mangle the language pretty badly) and learned that Vienna was Wien there
Yes, it’s been confirmed Vienna is Wein in Danish too. See, I knew it’s something you or @MaidenFair would know!

Then again, an Italian friend once told me that Spaghetti and Meatballs in Italy was nothing like what we call Spaghetti and Meatballs.
I like the Buzzfeed video where they had some real Italians try Olive Garden for the first time. Before they tried it, one of them said something along the lines of “I heard they have food there that doesn’t even exist in Italy, like alfredo. What is alfredo? Who is this Alfredo?” :D My friend sent me the video knowing I like Olive Garden (so far this thread is doing wonders for my taste credibilities). I live in a very Italian centric part of the state where if you try rescinding Columbus Day, someone will probably knife you. My friends don’t get why I would wait 20 mins for a table for fake Italian food when there are better, authentic Italian restaurants all over the place. BUT…I think spaghetti and meatballs is the General Tso’s Chicken of Italian food, no? Not all Italian restaurants do pizza, but they’ll prob have spaghetti and meatballs.
 

crackie

Chef, Scroll-Keeper, Buddy's #1 Fan
OK, doing very hard hitting food investigative journalism here... I asked a Swede what makes Swedish Fish Swedish. He told me it's made by a Swedish company, Malaco. Wait, it's legit Swedish??? I was expecting Swedish Fish to be as authentic as Irish Springs soap to be made from real springs in Ireland! Does that mean I can promote Buddy's Nuclear Revenge as including exotic foreign ingredients?

I've also been told there is a documentary on General Tso. I am so on it.
 
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