Forum Game: Corrupt a Wish

[DeletedUser551]

One of the most classic forum games out there.

Guidelines are simple.
A user wishes for something; the job of the next poster is to grant that wish, but corrupt it at the same time.
Example:
User 1: I wish for a million dollars.
User 2: Granted, you get 1 million dollars in Monopoly money.

Another example would be:
User 1: I wish for world peace.
User 2: Granted, world peace is achieved, but through extinction of the human race.

User 2 then has to post their own wish for the next person to corrupt and so on.

I'll start.
I wish I was invisible for a day.

 

[DeletedUser]

Granted, but you will also have the smell of a skunk that has been run over.
I wish to be the winner of a 500 million dollar lotto

 

[DeletedUser175]

Granted,
However, after the Taxman gets done with you. You will be eating beans from a can, cold beans
I wish the ancient aliens would come back and clean up the mess they made

 

[DeletedUser551]

Granted. Their "mess" is the human race.
I wish for a gaming laptop.

 

[DeletedUser478]

Granted, but someone will accidentally close your fingers in a car door and you wont be able to use a computer again.

I wish for this to end =).

 

[DeletedUser18]

Granted, this ends, reality ceases causing a reality rollback to the time just before the wish was granted. Therefore you wish was granted... briefly and the game must continue.

I wish to own a small island.

 

[DeletedUser]

Granted: You own a small island of oatmeal poking above the surface of the tiny sea of milk in an ordinary cereal bowl.

I wish Dr. Who would take me with him to have spectacular adventures traveling space and time, and return me uninjured and untraumatized to my family and home before I will have visibly aged and before this wish can be corrupted.

 

[DeletedUser]

Granted, except the Daleks see you leave and return with the Doctor and wipe you and your family out shortly after you return home.

I wish for my car to stay in excellent shape for as long as I'm alive.

 

[DeletedUser]

Granted. You die suddenly from an undiagnosed brain aneurism while driving, totaling your car approximately 2 seconds posthumously.

I wish the human race would collectively decide to pursue environmentally sustainable public policies.

 

[DeletedUser]

Granted, but it's accomplished by completely doing away with all modern technology, even electricity for lights and heat/AC

I wish for my cats to be able to actually talk to me.

 

[DeletedUser551]

Granted, they do talk to you, but in Russian.
I wish I could stop time.

 

[DeletedUser]

Granted, but you are stopped along with everyone and everything else...FOREVER...

I wish to be married to conjoined twins.

 

[DeletedUser]

Granted. You are serving the maximum jail sentence for bigamy and child abuse. And since you didn't specify the twins' sex/gender....

I wish all rapists would self-castrate.

 

[DeletedUser]

Granted, but not all rapists are male !

I wish the new Windows 10 will work ok !

 

[DeletedUser]

Granted but you must be a first grader to understand it.

I wish to be done with my time in the Army!!!!!!

 

[DeletedUser]

granted, but you are drafted into the Iranian Army

 

[DeletedUser]

Granted.

I wish everyone would process information without confirmation bias.

 

[DeletedUser61]

Unfortunately, common sense isn't all that common, nor all that sensible.

 

[DeletedUser]

Thus it is a wish. Which still needs corruption and a replacement wish from someone...

 

[DeletedUser]

granted, however, your genie doesn't speak your language.

I wish I knew the meaning of life.