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    Your Elvenar Team

Funny Bones Required

DeletedUser

Guest
I don't know if I would say that Thor's boxes are empty. I think he just uses them for a place to keep MORE BEER. lol

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Yes, boxes for more beer. He can do that because I carry the heaviest things for him. I am the emo, after all. :cool:
 

DeletedUser20951

Guest
Horoscopes, 5-28-19.jpg
I don't stop by The Onion near as often as I used to, but their Horoscopes still tend to occasionally have me bursting into inappropriate laughter. (and the ones I'd prefer to post couldn't be posted here)
 

DeletedUser

Guest
@Donnyd, thank you so very much. One of my favorite scenes, from one of my most favorite episodes.

@Nonchalant Antipathy

Well done.

Gene Simmons is Virgo. Very, very Virgo. So is Rob Halford. (Incidentally, so is Blackie Lawless. If you don't know who that is...oh, I am so sorry.)
Once upon a time, W.A.S.P. was a big deal.
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But we can't all be Ronnie James Dio.

My sister, my brother-in-law, a foster brother and foster grandmother...all Libra. Lena Heady, Ian McShane, Liev Schreiber, Jon Favreau...Libras. I love you people, but, you make me
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crazy.


I am Scorpio. It looks very simple on the page. But in the mind, it's I AM SCORPIO. So are two of my favorite guitarists, Glenn Tipton and KK Downing, both of Judas Priest, one of my favorite Queens (who lost her head), one of my favorite scientists (who was killed by her discovery), Ryan Reynolds, John Cleese, Charles Bronson, Tom Savini, Yaphet Kotto, Danny DeVito, Alexander Siddig (who was listed under part of his birth name 'Siddig El Fadil' when Deep Space Nine first started), Mark Ruffalo (wooo, bit of irony here...), Mads Mikkelsen, and Lou Ferrigno
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. So I am in extraordinarily good company.

Sorry, did someone mention baby carriages and buses?

Mark, Lou...you two wanna get that? :D
 

Donnyd

Member
@Donnyd, thank you so very much. One of my favorite scenes, from one of my most favorite episodes.

@Nonchalant Antipathy

Well done.

Gene Simmons is Virgo. Very, very Virgo. So is Rob Halford. (Incidentally, so is Blackie Lawless. If you don't know who that is...oh, I am so sorry.)
Once upon a time, W.A.S.P. was a big deal.
View attachment 5908
But we can't all be Ronnie James Dio.

My sister, my brother-in-law, a foster brother and foster grandmother...all Libra. Lena Heady, Ian McShane, Liev Schreiber, Jon Favreau...Libras. I love you people, but, you make me View attachment 5909 crazy.


I am Scorpio. It looks very simple on the page. But in the mind, it's I AM SCORPIO. So are two of my favorite guitarists, Glenn Tipton and KK Downing, both of Judas Priest, one of my favorite Queens (who lost her head), one of my favorite scientists (who was killed by her discovery), Ryan Reynolds, John Cleese, Charles Bronson, Tom Savini, Yaphet Kotto, Danny DeVito, Alexander Siddig (who was listed under part of his birth name 'Siddig El Fadil' when Deep Space Nine first started), Mark Ruffalo (wooo, bit of irony here...), Mads Mikkelsen, and Lou Ferrigno View attachment 5910 View attachment 5910 View attachment 5910. So I am in extraordinarily good company.

Sorry, did someone mention baby carriages and buses?

Mark, Lou...you two wanna get that? :D
@Loki Lyesmith I remember W.A.S.P. I used to have some of the albums. Yes I did say albums as in vinyl. Even had a few on colored vinyl and picture disc. My kids used to make fun because I still have most of my album collection, somewhere in the 500 LP plus range. That is until they started to make a come back when they all realized that the analog vinyl actually has better sound quality than digital. If you are into the old rock you might recognize where I took my avatar pic from. It's from the Styx album Man of Miracles album original cover art
 

DeletedUser

Guest
Yes I did say albums as in vinyl.

Preaching to the choir. ;)

When I was growing up, all we had was vinyl, 8-Track and Reel to Reel tape.

You say "old rock", but I don't know what that is. This man died not terribly long before I was born, so...:p

 

DeletedUser20951

Guest
Well, now I have to go check out mine!
I highly recommend it. While they obviously run out of novel ideas at times (I've see more than a few that are nearly identical) due to how long they've been churning 'em out, if you both love horoscopes, yet recognize their inanity, these exaggerated off-the-wall versions are delightful.
So I am in extraordinarily good company.
Woo! That was one of their more benevolent forecasts. Most are about your own horrible death, disfigurement, and/or incarceration. XD Ah, I'm an Aries (SHOCKING), and there's probably famous Aries. I've only somewhat paid attention to celebrities that share my sign, so I must not be fond of them. *ponders hard* Actually, come to think of it, I know very little about the vast majority of illustrious people... I just don't have much interest in specific people unless I'm interacting with them, and even then the interaction itself is what is important to me. Huh. Never really realized this before. Kinda strange, I suppose.
That is until they started to make a come back when they all realized that the analog vinyl actually has better sound quality than digital.
Sweet, sweet vindication!
 

DeletedUser20951

Guest
All too true, sadly...
Some really do speak to me, too.

Just suffered a moment of panic when I noticed that I didn't have long ago Onion Horoscopes, which I remembered saving, in my quotes file, and searching through expected locations didn't turn any up, but I eventually did find it... A text file inexplicably named "Horoscopes". I last modified it nine years ago, but I can't recall exactly how old they all are, since the original creation date has been eaten. I used to type the scopes out instead of screen capturing, and some of the impact is lost in this format. Regardless, here's a few of my favorites from ages past.

Taurus: (April. 20—May 20)
An assassin from the future will attempt to prevent the birth of the next Hitler by materializing in your bedroom at a particularly awkward moment.

Taurus: (April. 20—May 20)
Your life's problems will be put in proper perspective when you realize that, compared to the plague that swept Europe in the 12th century, they're still pretty bad.

Scorpio: (Oct. 24—Nov. 21)
The life's work of poet Wallace Stevens will change you forever when it falls from the top shelf onto your head, paralyzing you from the neck down.

Sagittarius: (Nov. 22—Dec. 21)
Your name will appear several times in the coroner's report, smudged though it will be by tears of laughter and over enthusiastic highlighting.

Cancer: (June 22—July 22)
We're sorry. Last week's prediction of "a night journey over water" should indeed have read "waterfall." Best wishes for your speedy recovery.

Pisces: (Feb. 19—March 20)
Your name will soon be used as a stirring rallying cry for the installation of airbags on brick walls.

Gemini: (May 21—June 21)
A bump in life's road causes you to lose control of life's car and spin out of control, careening off life's cliff and into life's rocky valley below, where the car bursts into life's flames.

Cancer: (June 22—July 22)
Under no circumstances should you take no for an answer this week. You'll wind up in jail or hospitalized, but the stars will have fun watching.

Aquarius: (Jan. 20—Feb. 18)
In spite of the praise, accolades, and awards, you can't shake the suspicion that they paid the caterer more.

Cancer: (June 22—July 22)
You're proud of your conviction that rules were made to be broken, but it might be wise to keep this from the prosecuting attorney.

Aries: (March 21—April 19)
All those jokes about your attention span would probably get you down if you ever stuck around to see how they end.

And I'm gonna stop there, on what appears to be one of the few Aries, since it's getting excessive and I'm not even a small fraction of the way through the collection, even though I was attempting to be selective. >_<
 

Donnyd

Member
Preaching to the choir. ;)

When I was growing up, all we had was vinyl, 8-Track and Reel to Reel tape.

You say "old rock", but I don't know what that is. This man died not terribly long before I was born, so...:p

I'm never really sure how old the people in here. That's why I mentioned the vinyl that way. From what I can see so far though it turns out that most are around my age group. I was born right these guys did this performance on the Ed Sullivan show.
 

ajqtrz

Chef - loquacious Old Dog
Ten years ago this thread would have been filled with text based jokes. Note the change in humor delivery. Interesting....very interesting....

AJ

Why did the chicken cross the road?

He saw it done on YouTube 14,324 times and had to try it himself.

Road kill. Sigh.

;>)
 

DeletedUser

Guest
and there's probably famous Aries.

Yes...some other people that I love very much. Like Mick Mars, Lady Gaga, Emma Watson, Maisie Williams, Paul Rudd, Robert Downey Jr, Heath Ledger, David Tennant, Tim Curry, Peter Capaldi, Marvin Gaye, Gary Oldman, Michael Fassbender, Todrick Hall, Hugo Weaving, William Shatner, and Leonard Nimoy.

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@Donnyd
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@ajqtrz Why did the robot cross the road? Because he was carbon-bonded to the chicken. ;)
 

DeletedUser20951

Guest
Ten years ago this thread would have been filled with text based jokes. Note the change in humor delivery. Interesting....very interesting....
Yes, yes it is, indeed. For the most part, I strongly dislike the change, especially the profusion of memes, but I've had to adjust... somewhat. I mainly just find less stuff funny, 'tis all. Gods, I hate the vast majority of memes, even though I understand their popularity. It's easier to follow a theme than to come up with something original, but by the fourth or fifth instance of one that I see, I would very much like to witness their fiery death next.
Yes...some other people that I love very much. Like Mick Mars, Lady Gaga, Emma Watson, Maisie Williams, Paul Rudd, Robert Downey Jr, Heath Ledger, David Tennant, Tim Curry, Peter Capaldi, Marvin Gaye, Gary Oldman, Michael Fassbender, Todrick Hall, Hugo Weaving, William Shatner, and Leonard Nimoy.
Woo! I am in good company, too! ...I think. I don't recognize every name, but I shall assume they are awesome because they have a sign in common with me. Nothing else matters.

And since I don't know any good chicken jokes, here's this:

Chicken Motives.jpg
 

DeletedUser20951

Guest
This kinda tickled me...
As a partial germaphobe, whose fifth best friend is hand sanitizer, and a firm thou-shalt-not-make-intentional-messes-without-cleaning-them-up-personally believer, I both laughed and cringed in equal measures.
 

DeletedUser20951

Guest
Dream.jpg
Happy Father's Day to any dads on here (and I also offer my condolences).
 
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