I just wanted to say that it was the lack of punctuation that tripped me up. Word choice and grammar is one thing, but punctuation is just as important (some might say that it is more so). I have great difficulty reading streams of words without punctuation to tell me where the breaks are and what reflects what. It forces me to read it over and over, essentially experimenting with pause and stress points until I come up with a version that appears most likely what had been intended.
Since I could see well enough that it was a topic I knew little about, I put little effort into deciphering it, sat back, and waited for the "pros" to show up.