How to handle loud-mouthed and aggressive players - use the 'Ignore' button

[Jackluyt]

Most of the contributors to the Forum are polite and have good manners; it is sad that a few loud-mouth know-it-alls spoil the experience for many of us - to the extent that some players have stopped coming here for that reason.
Did you know that there is an 'Ignore' button that appears when you click on a player's name? I have 'ignored' several people who have a habit of posting nasty comments and nit-picky personal attacks - and have to report that my forum visits are now a lot more pleasant.

 

[getmomo]

This place is actually pretty tame and friendly compared to many other message boards I frequent. And you will unfortunately still see posters you ignore when they are quoted. It's the internet, you are gonna need a thick skin.

 

[Jackluyt]

Just a reminder - if a forum contributor is annoying, rude or obnoxious, you can safely Ignore them and then they will never bother you again. My forum visits have become infinitely more pleasant since I added several names to my Ignore list!!

 

[ajqtrz]

I agree that ignoring people is a good idea...if what they are saying is off topic and personally attacking. On the other hand, I do believe it's unwise to ignore somebody who has a strong point of view and expresses it without personal attacks and/or getting off topic.

On the other hand, maybe you don't wish to actually discuss some things and when you do, want people to just agree with you. That would be nice, wouldn't it? Unfortunately, people do disagree and sometimes the "other side" is irritating not because they display any personal animosity or fall into the two most prevalent logical fallacies (ad hominem and ad populum) but because they just have strong arguments and the arguments you are using are either not persuasive to them, or not generally persuasive to many. In those cases, you either continue the discussion or you exit it. My recommendation would be to exit the discussion, not the person. For two reasons.

First, exiting the discussion removes the irritation. If you can't persuade your "opponent" and he/she is using responding reasonably civilly, I would suggest you don't know the subject well enough and ought to either leave the discussion or do some more sophisticated thinking about it so you can meet his/her points civilly and confidently, and with better arguments. If you feel strongly about the topic, it's just respectful to work on and bring your "A Game," as they say.

Second, it may be you need to exit the thread/subject. Fine, no point in building up steam needlessly. But leaving the topic doesn't mean you have to ignore every other thing that person says. It's like a good meal at a fine restaurant. You don't like the peas? Don't eat them. But don't throw the steak out just because you don't like the peas. In the end, few posters are so completely obnoxious and mean they should be completely ignored.

As one who has, I believe though I don't know for certain, irritated enough players with one particular topic I argue strongly about, and been placed on their "ignore" list, I have always thought it would have been better for them and myself to have had them leave the subject rather than ignoring everything I say. I do have a reasonable number of people who are "following" me and thus, I believe, I may have something to say from time to time. I mean, accidents do happen, right?

In the end then, the point is that if you are irritated because of incivility across a wide range of topics, ignoring may be the best bet. But if you are irritated because they have a strong opinion my recommendation is you just ignore that topic and keep the relationship.

AJ

 

[Deborah M]

@ajqtrz makes some good points above so I will use AJ as an example. It seems to me that I have had disagreements in the past with AJ. They were so important that I cannot even remember an example for that. If I got, or in the future get, too aggravated I ignore without actually using the ignore button. I remember a few players that I just scrolled past their posts for a while because I didn't feel like getting annoyed. Of course I probably respond to/argue the point first. That's just me. That being said, I also agree that AJ has posted many good posts or at least valid from the angle AJ is looking at it whether it is my opinion or not. Again, I'm just using AJ as an example with no criticism intended. I have honestly never used the ignore button. There is only one example of a conversation that went off the rails with politically correct woke arguments that had nothing to do with the game or OP where I did come back into the forum later with the intention of using the ignore button if there were further posts by that person but they had left. I have taken breaks from the forum. That is not because of debates but because of the same debates over & over.

 

[ajqtrz]

@Deborah M Yeah, I can see that seeing the same subject over and over might be a bit annoying. And I am probably more than a little guilty of over doing some issues. On the other hand, in long, complex arguments, repetition is sometimes necessary exactly because our attentions spans means we often skim things or just skip over them. Persuasion is seldom achieved with a single presentation and usually should be thought of as a campaign rather than a battle. Like most things in life, I think, a bit of tolerance, is warranted on both sides of a debate. Unfortunately, passions are a bit like battle flags...the moment they are raised the time for reasoned discussion has usually passed.

AJ

 

[Ashrem]

For some people, blocking is a useful tool for their happiness. The biggest downside for me is that it means they can say what they will without an opportunity for anyone who has blocked them to challenge it. While I regularly block spam accounts on social media, because they are unlikely to say anything I care to refute (as they are mostly too busy selling something), anyone who has a track record of things like providing incorrect or incomplete information, promoting strategies and ideas which are risky and might lead others to frustration later, or have a habit of using veiled personal attacks to sway the opinions of others, are all too dangerous to block. Anyone I simply disagree with on things which are entirely subjective, there's no point blocking. I enjoy disagreements based on subjective criteria, they are one of the spices of life. I've disagreed with @ajqtrz at least several times in the past, sometimes passionately andm I confess, some of those long posts have, in the past, given me a little mental-gas, but it's my choice to read them or not. I've also agreed with AJ many times.

I'm pretty confident I've never blocked a non-spammer, and blocking was first available to me on a dial-up programming forum in 1983. I can (mostly) read anything anyone has to say without taking it personally enough for it to affect my mental health.

 

[Smooper]

I will add that if you don't like conflict or stress and the best way for YOU to keep it out of your life is block it from your sight, then you should do that. There isn't one thing posted in this forum that is a must read for you to enjoy playing Elvenar. Also, if you go to the lounge of this forum you might find a few enjoyable things to do or read and no stressful arguements.