Right now, it seems that having a plan and making sure YOUR in game decisions facilitate that plan fails before the monkey wrenches INNO decides to throw at the carefully laid plans of elves and men.
It is a little known fact that monkey wrenches were invented by one Mr. Murphy. Yep, that Mr. Murphy. He has a catalog of monkey wrenches available for all occasions, but of course, getting your hands on the catalog is difficult as it can't be legally shipped to a PO box or street address. But his factory is on Moreland Avenue, Waukesha, Wisconsin, so you, theoretically, could go pick one up. I say, "theoretically," because that, too is a problem. Moreland Avenue is a one way street and you aren't allowed to dive the direction the street goes. If you do, the cops will pull you over and issue you a ticket. But of course the ticket tell you to send the payment to the Moreland Avenue police department. Which would be fine if there weren't 1,207 Moreland Avenues in Waukesha, Wisconsin. All of them heading in all directions, all of them twisting and turning like a plate of old spaghetti, and all of them numbered via a random number generator. 123 Moreland Avenue might be next to 76251 Moreland Avenue, next to 255 Moreland Avenue.
Of course, the ticket could be paid over the phone, and since there's a phone number clearly printed on the ticket you could call it. Which would , fine, if the telephone number on the ticket was manned. But after ten rings you get a voice message, "please listen to the entire menu as it has recently changed...." followed by, "press 1274953 if you want the dishwasher's mother-in-law, press 1274952 if you want the dishwasher's dog groomer, press 1274951 if you want to be connected to the dishwasher, and so on until you get, "press 0 if you want to be connected to an operator..." at which point, if you press 0 it says, "your approximate wait time is seventeen years, four months, two weeks, three days, four hours and twenty (pause) seven minutes. Fifteen seconds later the phone hangs up or goes to a busy signal. Still want that monkey wrench catalog?
If you do, don't worry, next week the factory is moving over to Moreland Avenue. Of course it's a different Moreland Avenue than the one it's currently on. You can't say it's the one that goes east and west as it doesn't. Nor does it go north and south. In fact, it's the Moreland Avenue that goes north, east,south, west, north, west, north, east, south..... in it's first four blocks. Not to be confused with the Moreland Avenue that goes north, east, south, west, north, east, north, east, south.... in it's first four blocks. Of course all this insures Waukesha, Wisconsin, grows. Having every street named Moreland Avenue insures everything in town, including the freeway out of town, is simply, "over on Moreland." In the end most visitors find a house on Moreland Avenue and settle down. They then find a job on Moreland Avenue, get married at the First Church of Moreland Avenue and have have kids they send to Moreland Avenue Elementary, Moreland Avenue Middle School, and Moreland Avenue High, until they graduate from Moreland Avenue College at which point they find an apartment on Moreland Avenue. Of course, once they leave home you will not see them again since their new address, being on Moreland Avenue, will be impossible to find. But this is, of course, way, way off topic, though one could say naming every street "Moreland Avenue" might be the mother of all monkey wrenches.
AJ
Dear forum visitor,
It looks as though you have not registered for a forum account, or are not signed in. In order to participate in current discussions or create new threads, you will need to register for a forum account by clicking on the link below.
