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    Your Elvenar Team

Spire Master Interviews with Maximum Effort (Combined Thread)

You're like a mystery wrapped up in an enigma with a side of more mystery...and a conundrum for dessert!
 
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Week 22: Childe MadJaws to the Spire of Eternity Came and nuked it into oblivion! Literally. My RL interview with this Spire Master was...stressful. Why? Well, for one I had to stand PERFECTLY at attention the entire time while SCREAMING my questions and/or answers back to him ALWAYS followed by "SIR! YES SIR!"...and yes, there was a reason for this. At the end of every sentence, I will just write SYS! so you understand exactly what transpired and why. It wasn't pretty.

Anyways, this interview was really scary. MadJaws is a legend, he is known in our FS as The "Sarge in Charge". I call him the "Eternal Carry" He is an absolute beast in Tourney and expects the same zeal from all of us in our weekly battles. He occasionally let's slip that he thinks of us all (fondly) as his "cannon fodder"...whatever that means.

You don't talk to MadJaws, he barks AT you, and then you better answer as quickly and precisely as you can or suffer his wrath. He doesn't much care for fools. He also doesn't much care for Spire and so it too has suffered his displeasure. As a result, our interview is conducted on the ground floor, which is glowing, smoking, and the only floor left...the rest of his Spire was nuked into next week (I wasn't kidding about that in my intro).

The Sarge is standing ramrod straight in the exact center of the hot, smoking ruins, a sneer on his face as I approach. His sunglasses reflect the fitful fires around him and I think he is chewing coal? For fun? All of his troops are wearing radiation suits, but The Sarge is not. I think I actually see radiation shrinking back from him in fright...I swear to God. Also, he is not the Sarge, he is always and forever The Sarge. Don't make the mistake of not capitalizing the "T" when addressing him; if you do, he might teach you his favorite yoga pose: its where your torso rests 4 feet from your legs and arms. :eek:

By the way, I was not given a radiation suit myself, his fearful minions...err soldiers...said something about "I wouldn't be staying around long enough for it to matter".

Q1: How did you ascend so fast? SYS!
A1: (He Spits out a diamond in disgust at my question) I DIDN"T ASCEND PUDGY! I DROPPED THOSE WIMPS DOWN TO ME! I DON"T CLIMB, I LEVEL!

Q2: How did you manage to do it so quickly? SYS!
A2: A TITAN 2 MISSLE YOU WEAKLING! DROP AND GIVE ME 200!!!

Q3: (Several hours later...and still winded, and feeling strangely weak(er) and sort of nauseas) What was the hardest part? SYS!
A3: HAVING TO ASSOCIATE WITH WIMPY POOS LIKE YOU, BALLERINA BOY! I THINK THIS GAME NEEDS SOME PVP ACTION! WHAT DO YOU THINK? HECK, I BET I ALREADY KNOW WHAT YOU THINK! ITS GOING TO BE "SYS!" RIGHT? WELL SON, LETS TRY IT OUT! MY CITY IS GOING TO INVADE YOURS, MAY THE BEST SARGE STOMP! YOU DOWN FOR THAT, TWINKLETOES? MY GOSH AND GOLLY I THINK I ALREADY KNOW! ITS GOING TO BE "SYS!" AGAIN, EH? HOT DAMN LETS GET TO IT THEN!

Q4: (Me screaming and running away) SYS!
A4: WELL, LOOKEE HERE I GOT ME ANOTHER TITAN 2! INCOMING!!

-------------------------------
Sorry about the wait on this one. I was on a 10-day cruise vacation with the wife and forgot to post MadJaw's interview before I left. Anyways, next week will be more or less on time and is titled "Week 23: Childe Nonymouse to the Spire of Eternity Came".

Also, we have a roster spot coming up in about a week, you can check out my FS recruitment thread in Arendyll's "Fellowships Looking For Members" forum but we pretty much excel at everything: Fellowship Adventures? (last round ranked #4 on the server) Spire? (typically ranked in top 8 or 10 but ALWAYS Gold no matter what) Tourney? (We finished our first 19 chest run two weeks ago but typically do 16 at least). Check us out if you are looking for a change of pace, and yup, I will indeed interview you too! :cool:

As always, thanks for reading and Happy Turkey Day everyone!
Ebon
 
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Sir Squirrel

Artist EXTRAORDINAIRE and Buddy Fan Club member
Again Ebonknight, thanks for the fun read! Always looking forward to the next one!
 

LisaMV

Well-Known Member
LOL!
oh my, MadJaws seems like such a sweetheart to me... but then, I am not a fighter so maybe just invisible. I will say though, that his chat posts at TourneyTime minus 10 are a bit scary! I usually go "eek! " and run off quickly to count my Main Hall stash.
 
Week 23: Childe Nonymouse to the Spire of Eternity Came and sliced and diced her way up to the top - three different ways! Literally. My real life interview with this Spire Master was tough because for the first time this was more of a group beatdown...err...discussion, than a one on one talk. I came here to interview Nonymouse, but two other ladies are present as well: Shyannon and Brattatude. I am ushered in to see them by some other totally random named Brattacular...not related to the first three of course.

Each woman in front of me speaks a word, then another the second, then the last the third, then the first the fourth word, etc, etc. Confused yet? Yeah, me too. Since I was alone, I was forbidden to speak but one out of every three words, which was kind of hard until I got the ". of it". err I meant the "hang . it". Wait, no: the "hang . ." is what I meant to say. See? Easy. What could go wrong?

All three are dressed in robes: white, grey, & black. They are dealing with a LOT of string, like a ton of it, and are constantly weaving it out from this massive loom. Nonymouse straightens and organizes the threads, Shyannon weaves them, and Brattatude cuts them. I really have no clue why they are doing what they are doing, but they all seem very intent on their work.

Oh. All three have red hair also. Just saying. Come to think of it, Brattacular had red hair too, I think. Well, it's a very common hair color among women (obviously), so I'm sure there was nothing suspicious about it at all.

Q1: How . . ascend . .?
A1: He's as dense as we were told. (All three ignore me as they continue to work, they are currently dealing with a line made up entirely of vibrant rainbows) "No snippy on this one" they murmur. One after the other. I'm telling you; it was hard to understand. Lucky that I am so astute, but why were they calling the line dense? Also...how do they know that the line they are working on is a "he"? Its inanimate. Duh.

Q2: What . . hardest . . your .?
A2: Annoying, which of us invited him here again? (Nonymouse sighs in pleasure as she weaves out a line composed entirely of sparkles and fairy dust). They weave it over and over again, lengthening it out considerably. Brattatude has even tucked her scissors away in fact.

Q3: What . . change . . Spire?
A3: Is he still talking to us? (They are now gingerly handling a thick rope of solid black; it looks dangerous and even angry somehow. Brat considers cutting it, but instead innocently places her scissors down. Sweat beads on her brow.)

Q4: Who . . favorite . . M.E.?
A4: Did he seriously just ask us that? (Nonymouse shakes her head in disbelief and pulls a straggly dull brown thread from her loom and for the first time looks at me. I feel like I am being judged, and it's not going well. Shyannon stops weaving and looks up at me with a frown too as Brat throws Nony the scissors with a smirk).

What . . doing . . scissors?!

---------------------------------------------------------------
The next installment will be called "Week 24: Childe Brattatude to the Spire of Eternity Came". I would like to give you all a semi-firm commitment about when it will be posted, but my real life is crazy busy right now and I have several projects that I am juggling. And I really suck at juggling! Shocker, I know. As always though, thanks for reading!
Ebon
 
Just when you thought it was safe to return to the forums, I have returned too... like a bad penny. (How could a penny be bad, really? I never understood that saying and I'm much too lazy to look it up. Hey, don't judge! Thats like, ten seconds, I'll never get back!)

Anyways, I have a very good reason for not updating this thread in almost a year, and a cool announcement as well! Lucky you!

I have reluctantly decided that the best way to approach this whole mess is by interviewing myself. Again. I know it's been a while but if you're as sick of the guy I am about to interview as I am, then I apologize in advance. He's such a glory hound! I can't stand him...

Week ??: Childe Ebonknight01 to the Spire of Eternity Came and crept up quiet as a mouse! I'm dreading my interview with myself, again, and hope to sneak up on me before I realize I'm there. I want to get this interview done quickly while avoiding any "pose offs" against the idiot braggart in the mirror that I am fairly certain awaits me at the top of the tower. I've lost twice in a row to him, and last time I even pulled a hammy!

Sure enough, no sooner do I arrive than I see me waiting for...me...in the mirror. Drat! I try and play it cool, and the arrogant peacock in the mirror tries too as well. What a farce! Time to get this over with.

Q1: Not that anyone cared or missed you, but why haven't you stunk up the joint...I mean, "graced these pages with your presence" over the last year?
A1: (He smiles, and I resist the urge to smack him in his smug face) Oh, that's kind of interesting actually. When I first started this thread almost two years ago, I was thinking about becoming an author, and what I wrote was a bit of a test for me, to see if people liked my writing. Well, it turns out that they did! And so... (I cut him off, he's such a windbag sometimes, I feel sorry for anyone who knows him in real life).

Q2: Yeah, yeah, no one cares. So, what, you wrote a book?
A2: I did, yes! It's called "The Ebon Knight" and it's the first installment in an urban fantasy trilogy that I wrote about two combatants on opposite sides of the eternal conflict meeting by chance and becoming allied against a new and sinister third power that has entered the fray. And actually, I wrote three books, they're all coming out within a few months of each other and... (I clear my throat loudly, which serves to stop his grating voice from...well...grating on my nerves any further).

Q3: Sounds boring and stupid.
A3: Is that even a question? (I shrug, and he shrugs back at me like he couldn't care less about my opinion. Jerk!) It's not stupid or boring, and there's a lot of intrigue, desperate combat, and perilous danger throughout. There is even romance and humor... my own quirky brand of humor, that is.

Q4: No one thinks you're funny and you wouldn't know humor if it bit you on your...err...never mind.
A4: Again, not really a question. You're horrible at this, seriously, just go find something else to do. Anyways, the eBook is up for preorder now on Amazon with a release date of 11/13/23. At that time the paperback will be available for order as well, and the audiobook shortly thereafter.

Q5: Wait. You have an audiobook coming out too? Did she do a good job, or what!
A5: She did a GREAT job, and... (he pauses, and his eyes narrow) how did you know my narrator was a female? How did you know she totally knocked it out of the park, too? (His unattractive features take on a suspicious look) Have you been spying on me?

Q6: (This is going downhill fast, so I wrack my brain for anything that might be remotely interesting to anyone... unlike anything else that has come before in this interview). Umm... how can they find your book? If someone cared to - which I doubt.
A6: Wow. Rude much? Simply put they can just go to Amazon and type in "The Ebon Knight" in the search bar and Ill pop up. Simple.

Q7: You said these forums and some of the private messages and feedback you got both in game and here really encouraged you to take the leap and become an author. Do you acknowledge Elvenar's role in helping you to get published? Say, in the acknowledgements section of your book?
A7: (For a moment, dead silence from the charlatan in the mirror greets my question) How did you know? But, yes, I did specifically thank the community of Elvenar in both of my first two books, and plan to do so again in my third book once I finish off the acknowledgements for it. I'm kind of a procrastinator at times. (I nod thoughtfully, because I am too. Not that I'm giving him an inch, though, I still think he's a slacker.)

Q8: In your acknowledgements, do you name name's, highlight specific fellowships...
A8: Alright, you know way too much about the books! Spy! Hacker! I'll see you in court!! (With that I angrily turn away from myself and stalk back down the stairs, absolutely rigid with anger. Someday I'll get that guy!)
-----------------------------------
Hello again! Long time no see, or read, or...well, whatever. I hope you all got a chuckle or two over my zaniness, and I hope you all check out my books as they start coming out! Professional covers, editing, etc... they are the real deal. I have a website too; you can find me at authorjamesdwood.com. Thank you so much to these forums, and to the people that frequent them, you are all a great group. I'll see you in game!
Ebon
 

Smooper

Well-Known Member
That's great that you have written some books. I mean...books. I might get a short story written but you wrote...books.
 
@Smooper well I did write a short story too... it's on my website.

=)

In all honesty, I was shocked by how fast I wrote them...and these are NOT short books either. The first one is over 400 pages, the second over 300, and the third should be over 400 again. My poor fingers....
 

Silver Lady

Well-Known Member
@Ebonknight01
So just based on your story here I preordered your first book. Hope I‘m not disappointed…I’m a dragon in another life…
BTW … Liked - Interview with Self.
 

Rainbow9213

New Member
Y'all let me just tell you....I have been a beta reader for book 1, The Ebon knight, book 2 and am currently on book 3 chapter 5....I can not tell you how well written and thoroughly thought out the books are. I plan on getting not only the digital versions but the actual hardcopies also ....these books are a must read.
@Ebonknight01
So just based on your story here I preordered your first book. Hope I‘m not disappointed…I’m a dragon in another life…
BTW … Liked - Interview with Self.
You will not be disappointed.. I'm a beta reader currently on book 3 and absolutely am in love with them.
 

Rainbow9213

New Member
@Ebonknight01

Love the books, I had the honor of being a beta reader and can honestly say I will be very sad at the end of book 3. I feel like the characters have become; to me, life like. I can feel the emotions, the pain, the joy, the brokenness, the love. There are also quite a few chuckles thrown in. To make your reader feel those emotions through a character to me is exceptional penmenship.
 
@Rainbow Thanks Rainbow, you really helped through the process with your analysis chapter by chapter. I appreciate you telling everyone how you felt about the books (and I'll send you a fiver in the mail... our evil plan worked!! hahaha...err, nevermind) /wink /wink /nudge /nudge

@Silver Lady if you like adventure, urban fantasy, and maybe a smidge or ten of romance you will like the books. I would NEVER mess with a dragon!
 
...And I won this from Readers' Favorite this morning! I can start using it on all my advertising moving forward. I have several other editor reviews, bloggers reviews, etc. I am waiting on...but it was nice to win this seal before the launch.

Readers Choice 5 Star Version 2.png


An excerpt: Wood weaves a story filled with compelling conflict that shapes the characters' evolution. Kelso and Ava are wounded and disillusioned with their war-torn reality, a trait that makes them relatable and multi-dimensional. The interplay between their distinct personalities, their dark pasts, and the intricacies of the new threat presents an engaging and well-crafted plot that keeps readers on the edge of their seats. The intricate worldbuilding further immerses readers into this fantasy world, where a virus indiscriminately changes its victims into malevolent and chaotic beings. With elements of quirky humor and thrilling action, James Wood showcases unexpected plot twists and a cast of morally nuanced characters. The book will resonate with readers who enjoy surprising turns and compelling characters dealing with a solid conflict, a touch of dark humor, and an alluring blend of danger and forbidden attraction. Fans of urban fantasy looking for a fresh and compelling story will find themselves at home in The Ebon Knight. Wood's storytelling invites readers into an exciting world where heroes aren't always what they seem, and villains have more complexity than meets the eye.
 
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