We are the United Schizophrenic Mercenaries of Chaos.
All applicants must meet All requirements listed below or bring a a cheese platter to every USMC Fellowship sponsored event.
Bring $10k USD for the application fee.
We prefer those boosted in steel, silk or mulberries.
You must spend 5 minutes at at time with our AM Felix and not ask when was the last time he showered.
Apparently you must bring me emus and kangaroos on the first monday of the month so you may want to wait until tuesday to join.
We need team players; eg please be willing to plead guilty and do time in jail.
Please be willing to "loan" MasterEmery your kidney.
If you reach the top of the spire you must dance.
Please be able to keep at least 7 ferrets in your pants at all time (last week it was meerkats).
All members should have at least 37 back up ferrets in case of an emergency.
Our AM requires that you wash and wax his 1983 Honda Civic hatchback weekly.
You must be able to swallow evidence quickly and discreetly, know all the lines from The Princess Bride and visit Soldateii in the nursing home.
There is some mention of exotic dancing at the nursing home but I am pretty sure that requirement has passed since the last member broke a hip and is ALSO living at the nursing home.
The alibi for this week is "we were on vacation how the hell should I know who killed that guy?"
Oh, the petting zoo has reopened and the stalls have been cleaned but please, keep your ferrets in your pants.
If you are interested in being a part of a very active 10 chest group of people who love this game and our country, please let me know.