Useless Warnings

[ajqtrz]

You've not doubt seen warnings you thought were silly, useless, and a waste of time. Like "Warning, this hot coffee is hot!" It's hot coffee, for heaven's sake, of course it's hot! Or, on a bag of peanuts: "Warning, may contain peanuts." Really? There's only a chance a bag labeled "peanuts" might contain peanuts?

What's your strangest, most useless, designed to protect the company from the sheer stupidity of some people, warning?

AJ

 

[Darielle]

I saw a clothing tag on a child's shirt (made in Asia) that said, "Remove from child before washing."

 

[The Unbeliever]

I saw a clothing tag on a child's shirt (made in Asia) that said, "Remove from child before washing."

Then what the hell is the garden hose for, if not for washing two birds with one (wet) stone?!
On the other hand, we picked up a container of drain cleaner today that says "do not drink" on the warning label.

You know, back in the day, being stupid hurt. Getting hurt was how you basically learned to NOT be stupid anymore.
We need to make being stupid hurt again!

 

[mucksterme]

I like the drug commercials that say things like
"Do not take detonix if you are allergic to detonix"
Like first off, how would you know you are allergic?
And secondly, if you know you're allergic and take it anyway, we are all better off with you dead.

 

[Huor]

Let's see. "do not drink the battery acid" and "do not drink the preservation fluid" (multiple times in a cologuard manual). So people really opened the cologuard box and saw the bottle and thought "thank you cologuard! a drink of water is just what I need!". "do not attempt" on new car commercials. So why should I buy it? "do not take if allergic" on pill pusher commercials.

We are going in the wrong direction...

 

[Huor]

lol. What mucksterme said. I just couldn't type anymore.

 

[BrinDarby]

ANY and all warnings where the Disclaimer is ....

So darn small that from 8' away on a 60" TV you still can't read it unless ur a Bald Eagle.
USELESS !!!!!

 

[crackie]

So darn small that from 8' away on a 60" TV you still can't read it unless ur a Bald Eagle.

Well of course it'll never be big enough. Bald eagles can't read!

 

[ajqtrz]

I once saw a "No U-Turn" on a one way road . I guess it must have either been there before the one-way was created or so many people when the wrong way in an effort to get back to where they made their mistake that the crashes were too common or too horrendous.

I personally like the drug warnings that go on in a rapid voice notifying you that the side effects might lead to your immediate loss of your left eye, right arm, and/or death, with "Do not taking if you experience any of these side effects." Really, don't call my doctor if I'm dead? Yeah, that makes sense, my doctor is there to keep me living, and now I not! Can I sue my doctor for failing to do her job?!

Oh, nope. I'm dead and all I can do is rot. Darn!

AJ

 

[The Unbeliever]

I'm still shocked and amazed that people ignore the warnings not to use the bathrooms at Taco Bell locations...
I mean, isn't that just an unwritten rule of life that you don't use ANY bathroom after your co-worker who just ate 6 tacos + nacho fries?!

 

[Alram]

lol @ajqtrz for the win!!!
If you experience death, please stop taking this medication and contact your healthcare provider immediately.

 

[BrinDarby]

"do not remove this tag, under penalty of prosecution"
NOT once have I ever heard of the matress police , have you ???
( or the pillow police )

 

[mucksterme]

NOT once have I ever heard of the matress police , have you

I have, but they called themselves Vice cops and claimed to be there for other reasons.

Also, related to the above discussion.
The Law Suit commercials that say,
"If you suffered baldness, rotted toe nails, purple tongues or death" call Muck & Myre attorney at law"

Yep, if I die you will be my first call.

 

[ajqtrz]

I have, but they called themselves Vice cops and claimed to be there for other reasons.

Also, related to the above discussion.
The Law Suit commercials that say,
"If you suffered baldness, rotted toe nails, purple tongues or death" call Muck & Myre attorney at law"

Yep, if I die you will be my first call.

You know this is true because every time the cops "toss" somebody's apartment looking for drugs (or whatever they SAY they're looking for) the manage to "toss" every mattress. It's not like any drug addict/pusher would be stupid enough to actually hide their stash their mattress. And the cops know this. Hence, the reason they are checking to see if the tags are still there! If they aren't, they will suddenly find that you really are stupid enough to actually hide drugs under your mattress!

"Yep, that's my story and I'm sticking to it!"

AJ