NightshadeCS
Well-Known Member
“In this world, you must be oh so smart, or oh so pleasant. Well, for years I was smart. I recommend pleasant.”
― Elwood P. Dowd
― Elwood P. Dowd
I was gonna stay out of this, but this bit REALLY hit me.
Please don't judge. You're making some pretty bold assumptions with your posts, and you have no idea what people are doing or need in order to maintain their mental health.
For a lot of people going through tough times, this game is an escape. It's a place we come for positivity. That doesn't mean we're burying our heads in the sand, or demanding that the world only show us the nice things. For a lot of us, this positivity IS the balance to other difficulties. There's enough hard stuff happening in the world without making this difficult, too. If someone finds a person in an online game forum stressful, they should by all means block them - we often can't escape the other sources of stress in our lives, so it's ok to control it where we can.
Games should be fun. I, for one, didn't come here for personal growth and have plenty of opportunity for that elsewhere.
Sure, and blocking someone isn't permanent. As I said, occasionally curiosity or even FOMO gets the better of me and I'll click that "show ignored content" button.People can change, but you'll never know if you toss them from your sight
I've tried to help them with their social skills both in lengthy private conversations and on public posts, but it's not like I'm a qualified expert so...and you'll also not have had a thing to do with their changing if you just block etc.
First of all, the whole sticks and stones lesson is super outdated and comes from a time where the #1 medical prescription given for mental health was a doctor's note that said "suck it up, princess"This "when to block" thing, actually touches on what we teach almost all kids... how sticks and stones can break your bones but names can never hurt you. Although blocking is a right and in some cases people just can't handle something psychologically and that's ok to block etc, this whole notion of "i gave him X amount of chances and he failed, so that's it he's condemned in to the ban pit".
*double thumbs up*Sure, and blocking someone isn't permanent. As I said, occasionally curiosity or even FOMO gets the better of me and I'll click that "show ignored content" button.
So far, no Bueno.
I've tried to help them with their social skills both in lengthy private conversations and on public posts, but it's not like I'm a qualified expert so...
No luck.
Also, is it even my place to try and change someone? I don't actually think that's more appropriate than blocking them. All we can do is tell them what they are doing to make the interaction a negative one for us and it's up to them if they want to change. Forcing our change upon them is no different than them trying to force us to listen to them by removing our choice to block.
First of all, the whole sticks and stones lesson is super outdated and comes from a time where the #1 medical prescription given for mental health was a doctor's note that said "suck it up, princess"
Secondly, words matter, and they most certainly can hurt. "Freedom of speech" does not mean "freedom of consequences from speech."
As for your AJ-style thinly veiled insult that people "just can't handle something psychologically" you're missing the point entirely:
People can "handle" being put down and insulted, but who in their right mind would choose to expose themselves to that repeatedly?
Keep in mind, an interaction doesn't need to be mentally damaging to effect mental health. Mental health effects are pretty easy to judge in hindsight, just ask this simple question:
"Was I better off before or after reading that?
If there was a culture of blocking people on these forums I would understand your defense more, but as far as I know, AJ is totally unique and not a single other poster on these forums has such an.. unfollowing.
Perhaps he is particularly bad at judging what effect his posts will have. Either he genuinely believes that people will be better off after reading his posts and he's just wrong a lot, or he doesn't actually care at all what negative effect his words will have.
In the end it's not really relevant if the result is that people are better off not reading them.
I was gonna stay out of this, but this bit REALLY hit me.
Please don't judge. You're making some pretty bold assumptions with your posts, and you have no idea what people are doing or need in order to maintain their mental health.
For a lot of people going through tough times, this game is an escape. It's a place we come for positivity. That doesn't mean we're burying our heads in the sand, or demanding that the world only show us the nice things. For a lot of us, this positivity IS the balance to other difficulties. There's enough hard stuff happening in the world without making this difficult, too. If someone finds a person in an online game forum stressful, they should by all means block them - we often can't escape the other sources of stress in our lives, so it's ok to control it where we can.
Games should be fun. I, for one, didn't come here for personal growth and have plenty of opportunity for that elsewhere.
I've tried to help them with their social skills both in lengthy private conversations and on public posts, but it's not like I'm a qualified expert so...
Also, is it even my place to try and change someone? I don't actually think that's more appropriate than blocking them. All we can do is tell them what they are doing to make the interaction a negative one for us and it's up to them if they want to change. Forcing our change upon them is no different than them trying to force us to listen to them by removing our choice to block.
As for your AJ-style thinly veiled insult that people "just can't handle something psychologically" you're missing the point entirely:
People can "handle" being put down and insulted, but who in their right mind would choose to expose themselves to that repeatedly?
Keep in mind, an interaction doesn't need to be mentally damaging to effect mental health. Mental health effects are pretty easy to judge in hindsight, just ask this simple question:
"Was I better off before or after reading that?
If there was a culture of blocking people on these forums I would understand your defense more, but as far as I know, AJ is totally unique and not a single other poster on these forums has such an.. unfollowing.
Perhaps he is particularly bad at judging what effect his posts will have. Either he genuinely believes that people will be better off after reading his posts and he's just wrong a lot, or he doesn't actually care at all what negative effect his words will have.
In the end it's not really relevant if the result is that people are better off not reading them.
No. You don't know me. You don't know what I'm doing in my life, what my mental health looks like, or what I need to maintain it. Period. There's not a whit of presumption there.But isn't it a bit presumptuous to claim that I "have no idea what people are doing or need on order to maintain their mental health?"
How's this for precise and truthful...
I'll apologize to the rest of the forum and to the Mods If they decide to toss me off the forum so be it...But you need some serious help.
You are a very pretentious smug person and I do not like your attempt to appear 'better than all' or your references that we are in some way childish or mentally imbalanced. I do not like your references on mental health. You clearly know little about it.
When you find someone Toxic has in any way entered your life you do not hang out with them or take them home for your children to meet.
You have been the sole reason some people have left the game.
This is not a debate class. This is not a place for you to come and be abusive. There are forums on the internet you can go to and do just that.
Pleae find one.
No AJ, I do not care for you in the least and would run to the nearest door if I met you in person.
You enjoy causing strife and that is a very cruel thing to do anywhere. The scary part being, you think you're right and you think you're superior to all. You are Not.
I have never put anyone on ignore but you have taken it over the hill.
You pretend to be such an expert on everything you literally make me sick to my stomach. How's that for the effects of stress.
Just because you cover up your abuse with an attempt of being polite I see right through you. If you continue treating epole in this fashion I will block you and report you both.
The end
No, we get it, it's just hard to avoid. When someone is unkind we often tend to inform them that they are being unkind in... an unkind way.I find it strange how some people can write all this and not see that so often the negative traits they are describing in others, they themselves have.
I disagree. Sometimes the only way to get through to people is to use the language that they clearly understand."but he started it" is a weak defense for bad judgement in a situation
Absolutley not unless you mean from AJ to the entire community.An apology is in order.
You don't have to hate someone to want nothing to do with them, and condemning someone whose actions should be condemned is admirable.Hopefully she understands this and moves on from such hate filled condemnation of others in the future.
No excuses needed, she was perfectly in line with her post and accurate on all counts.No matter who is making excuses for their actions.