Whats your view on human nature

[DeletedUser20951]

I think everything we experience affects us on some level... which sounds pretty obvious when I type it out this way. XD

Ah, I view it as a good thing to share, and argue, and speculate about our differing reactions, as it broadens awareness of the countless possibilities, yet I doubt the human mind can ever fully comprehend the sheer scope of complexity that contributes to each individual's specific condition, except for vaguely and academically.

 

[Vergazi]

Your personal experience and mine are very, very different. Lucky you.

In this case it may depend on our definitions of lasting psychological scars. Note: I define physical trauma as just that, physical harm that can be lasting in it's effects or not in the case of physical injury...there are degrees. In one case I was a dumb kid and sliced my thumb wide open to the bone and I had adults shrieking that I was going to die because of all the blood. In another case a car's radiator blasted boiling water over half of my right arm and all of my upper chest. Of course that isn't the same as being physically and/or sexually abused, but there again I have experience and it took me 30 years to become somewhat functional as a person again. To say I have lasting psychological scars from the latter would be an understatement. However, as to the first two instances, I don't give them any thought at all and they passed away with little effect, even from the temporary emotional distress caused by hysterical adults. So am I lucky? Perhaps not as much as your understandable snark suggests. <3

 

[DeletedUser]

In one case I was a dumb kid and sliced my thumb wide open to the bone and I had adults shrieking that I was going to die because of all the blood.

I shattered my bedroom window, cutting both arms open at the elbow. I was 10. I remember the event with vivid clarity decades on, because the rage I felt toward my abuser took that long to fade.

Of course that isn't the same as being physically and/or sexually abused, but there again I have experience and it took me 30 years to become somewhat functional as a person again. To say I have lasting psychological scars from the latter would be an understatement.

Then, perhaps we understand each other. My apparent snark stems from the fact that statements like "From personal experience I can say that extreme physical trauma alone does not cause lasting psychological scars" irritate me, just as "what the Hell do you have to be depressed about", spoken by people who have no idea what clinical depression is like does.

Many of us are broken people, in one way or another, and what is true for one of us is not necessarily true for another. I think sometimes we seem to forget that.

 

[DeletedUser20951]

Many of us are broken people, in one way or another, and what is true for one of us is not necessarily true for another. I think sometimes we seem to forget that.

Amen! I rarely try to speak for others, since I really have no authority in doing so, and it's basically telling someone that you know better than they do on what they've gone through, which is quite rude. I've always reacted abnormally in most situations, though, and I see nothing unusual with people recounting diverse responses that don't match my own.

 

[DeletedUser]

I've always reacted abnormally in most situations

I often find me reminding myself that my gut reaction is not always the socially appropriate one.

 

[DeletedUser20951]

I often find me reminding myself that my gut reaction is not always the socially appropriate one.

Oh yes, this is the truth! I'd rather not be incarcerated for the rest of my life, honestly. Yeah, that's never sounded like a great time, free room and board aside.

 

[DeletedUser19483]

Everyone is broken
broken like me
just look down the annals of history
Everyone is hurting
Hurting like me
All of us have secrets that we keep
Everyone are liars
liars like me
Then why do I still feel so *freaking* empty
No is quite broken
Broken like me
I smile but feel nothing
You'll get no emotions from me
No one is as empty
empty like me
They tell me smiling will make me happy
But no one knows me quite like me
If they did they'd leave me
Leave me lonely
No can get me
get me like me
I feel nothing at all and you can't see
I have learned to fake it
fake happy
so I'll fit in with normals in society
but in my brain I'm still so empty
my emotions never came
I was born empty
but through the years I've faked
faked happy
I think I may have felt it
felt happy
and as this poems ends
I still can't see
any of you understanding what you've seen
"It's all a joke. replies the crowd I see
"This boy is faking. Faking empty"
"Born with his emotions and empathy."
"He's just trying to fit in. Fit in with us brokens you see."
And I'll laugh and say
yah I'm not empty....


*original poem had naughty words in it but I really didn't see how I could bring this together with out saying something that sounded like the f word*

 

[ajqtrz]

Unfortunately, the goals of the company are not for public viewing and that means, often, the goals cannot be shared with anyone below a certain level. Let's say, for instance, my company was interested in merging with another. To do this we might need to restructure the relationship between our current shipping partner and ourselves because the our shipping costs would become too high once the merger takes place if we continue the same contract under the same terms. So we tell the shipping department to re-negotiate the contract and to eliminate some of the fees. We can't tell they why because as a publicly traded company any hint of our intentions undermines our stock price -- and thus our capital position (the money we have to operate, get short term loans for projects, buy stock, etc.) The cash position of a company determines if they can take advantage of market opportunities so any information that gets out can seriously effect the amount of money people have invested in the company. So our shipping department heads cannot be told why we want the changes, but that we do.

No you are on the negotiation team and don't know this. Your job is to negotiate the terms of moving X from A to B each month. If you promise a long term contract at a certain rate you can save 10%. Sweet. But it locks you into a long term contract and since we are going to merge (or hope to) we don't want a long term contract. You, as the one doing the negotiation, are told by you boss to skip the long term contracts at the same time you are told to get a better rate! The boss, at this point, is pressuring you to do the impossible but you don't know that. It appears to you he or she is just being stupid!

Yes, it's a communication problem. But the problem is that what can be communicated and what can not often determines what you are told and what you are not told and thus, makes your job harder and the boss seem to be a bit unhinged. Add to that a whole litany of personal, political, and professional goals on the part of the various levels of management and you have a real soup of secrets and hidden agendas.

Is there an answer to this? Not really. Human nature is to love a good rumor and rumors sometimes do real damage. So the best bet, as most companies find, is to keep ALL information only where it's absolutely needed and safe. Then pressure your subordinates to get the results you need to get you where you want to go. They don't need to know the why, because you are the boss and that's "why" enough.

AJ

 

[DeletedUser19483]

SOOOO this question burns at me hotter than the hell fire I warm my sins with so let me ask.
I was wondering if anyone else here has the inability or hard time with empathising with others?
I managed to trace the start of my apathy to when I was a young, innocent, loving child who was a giggling ball of fun.......yah we all start somewhere... I was four when I got into a childish fight with my brother who was the mature and wise age of five. Now as most childish squabbles it was over something pointless and we couldn't come to an agreement or there was no adult there to quickly force a "diplomatic treaty of non-aggression" so we quickly fell back to our pudgy fists still covered in a fine layer of baby fat. My brother being a year old was also a year stronger, faster, bigger, and had a years less of baby fat on his fists to cushen the blows he dealt. I'm not one to lose, so I used the time old method of dirt to the face to open up the chance of a tackle. we had this battle of titans on a little hill. Next to our house so we came to a stop we happened to finally be in the view of the adults. The adults seeing this tussle moved to break it up. Before they could reach us my brother took a final blow. "Everyone dies. Everyone you love dies [real name here]" Before I could come back with a retort of liar the adults finally pulled us apart. Me still thinking what my brother said was a lie asked my father with a hopeful face. My father was never one to sugar coat and straight up told me the dark truth. Now even then it wasn't a snap of the fingers I'm an cold shallow shell of a human, but it was very much the catalyst of my apathy. After spending the next few hours crying I went to bed. Now what could only be seen as an unfortunate series of events my first and so far favorite pet died. Now this happened the day after I was told the truth about life. This was the next hit to my empathy. Now I think about it I felt a little I didn't cry as much as I probably should have for a kid losing his first pet. My siblings on the other were crying a lot harder than me. The final nail in the coffin of my empathy was when my grandmother unfortunately passed. Now I'm not saying I hate my grandmother, no I have many fond memories of her but when at her funeral I was unable to feel sad. I neither cried or even had a look of sadness. I, later through the years started seeing things differently. I hear when people make decision they think of the consequences of their actions. Now I have the same process but mine has a second step. When I talk to people I think of how I value up to them. I value up to a zero to a perfect stranger. Not good, Not bad. I value higher to other people, like friends or family. I really wish I didn't see the world like this because it leads my more devil's advocate side to go. "Oh such a action will increase your value to these people." or it goes, "Such an action won't have so much effect your standing that you can't easily get it back." Lately now I don't only see my own value but other people's value with each other. Unfortunately I'm most often correct with each person I value with others. I hate myself for being able to do it and I'm glad I have yet to use this new found "gift" against people but unfortunately I enjoy being devils advocate to much and like I said, I usually don't empathise with most people and the rest I don't empathise with them at all. So I was wondering if there is anyone else like me.

 

[DeletedUser20396]

So I was wondering if there is anyone else like me

No, no i don't think so.

 

[DeletedUser18011]

The overall "human nature" thing I think is generally overthought. Many things become much easier to understand if we just remember we are animals. We often fall subject to the grand illusion that we are somehow enlightened and possess mystical complexity with a soul and aura and amazing power via consciousness. All we really do is wake, (insert your own choice of toilet function terminology here), eat, breed, sleep and repeat. But since we make it very complicated it feels complex. I often giggle when I see some nature program with 2 males battling over a female to win her and think of seeing pretty much the same thing in bars except the males use cars or watches or muscles to impress rather than their horns (in most cases). Most issues of relationships can be traced down to simply wanting to pass on our genes at a basic level, wanting to compete is to end up with the best breeding stock by proving your worth, being possessive and greedy is just signs of wanting to ensure your survival and the survival of what will follow you.

What "kind of person" we are therefore is the selection (whether intentional or not) of all the basic instincts filtered through training and experience (which can be positive or negative or mixed) and it's not so much about what you feel, but what you chose to do with those feelings. I have a nice assortment of professionally diagnosed "problems" with neat sounding names that I could use to complain about and make excuses over but I chose not to - I'd rather just get on with it and do the best I can to override whatever impulses would be counterproductive as much as I can. Fortunately I have been spared any true trauma so I might feel differently about some things if that wasn't the case.

My philosophy of life therefore is "have as much fun as possible without hurting anyone in the process" and I try not to make it all more complicated then that (emphasis on try).

 

[Vergazi]

The overall "human nature" thing I think is generally overthought. Many things become much easier to understand if we just remember we are animals. We often fall subject to the grand illusion that we are somehow enlightened and possess mystical complexity with a soul and aura and amazing power via consciousness. All we really do is wake, (insert your own choice of toilet function terminology here), eat, breed, sleep and repeat. But since we make it very complicated it feels complex. I often giggle when I see some nature program with 2 males battling over a female to win her and think of seeing pretty much the same thing in bars except the males use cars or watches or muscles to impress rather than their horns (in most cases). Most issues of relationships can be traced down to simply wanting to pass on our genes at a basic level, wanting to compete is to end up with the best breeding stock by proving your worth, being possessive and greedy is just signs of wanting to ensure your survival and the survival of what will follow you.

What "kind of person" we are therefore is the selection (whether intentional or not) of all the basic instincts filtered through training and experience (which can be positive or negative or mixed) and it's not so much about what you feel, but what you chose to do with those feelings. I have a nice assortment of professionally diagnosed "problems" with neat sounding names that I could use to complain about and make excuses over but I chose not to - I'd rather just get on with it and do the best I can to override whatever impulses would be counterproductive as much as I can. Fortunately I have been spared any true trauma so I might feel differently about some things if that wasn't the case.

My philosophy of life therefore is "have as much fun as possible without hurting anyone in the process" and I try not to make it all more complicated then that (emphasis on try).

Where is that damn "like" button thing when I really, really want one.

 

[DeletedUser20396]

Where is that damn "like" button thing when I really, really want one.

Become a mod, only they can like in the lounge

 

[DeletedUser20951]

I hate myself for being able to do it and I'm glad I have yet to use this new found "gift" against people but unfortunately I enjoy being devils advocate to much and like I said, I usually don't empathise with most people and the rest I don't empathise with them at all.

I think you might be confusing "empathy" with "sympathy"? I can empathize 'till the cows come home, in that I am able to easily picture myself in their shoes and understand why they feel what they feel, and can sympathize, to an extent, with their woes, but it's all logical with little to no emotional responsiveness on my part. What you describe sounds like a natural inclination for desensitization, which I also began to undergo at a young age, that is a defense mechanism to protect the self and can stunt emotional development. Since the benefits of not feeling strongly prevent pain and discomfort, the habit is often reinforced throughout a person's lifetime, but tend to result in volatile reactions when that barrier breaks down. I've mentioned how rarely I become angry, but when I do, it is all encompassing, consuming, and my mind crystallizes my rage into a weapon towards whomever is the object of my ire (it's always a human). Luckily (or unluckily, depending on how you view physical pain in comparison to mental), I have never been inherently prone to behaving violently and the attack is verbal, where I rip apart whatever insecurities my target has in the most damaging manner possible, with a rapid-fire and cutting, yet eloquent, style I lack in normal situations. I completely get why so many are addicted to anger, why they enjoy the adrenaline rush and sense of power, but I prefer to give careful consideration to hurting others. Anyway, while your feeling 'less', or what isn't seen as the 'proper' and 'normal' amount of emotion to the majority, could be permanent, it can be 'treated', if you believe it is a flaw that needs correcting. We never stop evolving and changing, and this transformation can be directed by how we want to be.

My philosophy of life therefore is "have as much fun as possible without hurting anyone in the process" and I try not to make it all more complicated then that (emphasis on try).

Well then, I seem to have spotted a much kinder mirror image of my philosophical self. THIS IS THE ONLY TRUE MEANING OF LIFE. Irrefutable subjective fact, it be!

 

[DeletedUser20951]

Ah, forgot to mention that my "sympathy", for others and myself, is rarely not filtered through a prism of awareness of all of the horrible crap going on in the world, which no doubt has a huge impact on my inability to muster much compassion. I strive against belittling the troubles of another, because the great, or worse, difficulties don't nullify the smaller, personal ones, but I have a hard time when minor issues are blown out of proportion, hence my frequent melodramatic mocking of my own problems, a delightfully fun activity that helps me keep things in perspective.

 

[DeletedUser20951]

Oh okay, I had worded my philosophy for life a little differently, but I think I clarified somewhere in here (I am not suffering the indignity of more searching) that what makes me happy is having fun. I'm a hedonist, through and through.

Regarding the purpose of life, besides the obvious biological ones, I think it's all about pursuing happiness, doing whatever makes you happy as long as it is not at the expense of, or harms, others.

 

[DeletedUser19483]

I think you might be confusing "empathy" with "sympathy"?

Sorry Nonchalant but I'm not confusing my apathy with sympathy. Sympathy is defined about the feeling of pity or sorrow towards others..... I don't.... I just don't.

My philosophy of life therefore is "have as much fun as possible without hurting anyone in the process" and I try not to make it all more complicated then that (emphasis on try).

What a beautiful philosophy.

 

[DeletedUser18011]

What a beautiful philosophy.

ty

 

[DeletedUser18011]

Well then, I seem to have spotted a much kinder mirror image of my philosophical self. THIS IS THE ONLY TRUE MEANING OF LIFE. Irrefutable subjective fact, it be!

 

[DeletedUser20951]

Sorry Nonchalant but I'm not confusing my apathy with sympathy. Sympathy is defined about the feeling of pity or sorrow towards others..... I don't.... I just don't

So, you can't put yourself in another person's shoes, can't understand what they feel, or you think they are idiots for feeling as they do? This is an important distinction. The first denotes a lack of empathy, the second a lack of sympathy.