The dilemma, as I've parsed and understood it, is when the free will of players come into conflict with the goodwill and generosity of others. How does one find that balance and how does one detect it before things turn into rowdy bar brawls and
hospital therapist visits?
This thread has been rather thought provoking. I may need to reread it just to make sure I didn't miss or forget things. Thanks,
@Darielle for starting this. Also, do correct me if I'm wrong
I feel like I'm very wrong but this needs posting nao. Mistakes now, fixes later!
Thank you, Zoof. I have had a change of heart back and forth several times since this thread started. I came into it thinking that the big players who insist on "no three stars" were just bullies, and while I still believe they should not push their views, I have now started to understand and sympathize with their feelings. They come from a position of wanting to help the team, and that is not a bad position to have. Most of them are completely unaware that some people cannot enjoy a game with what they perceive as cheats (whether they are such or not). Perhaps it's simply a matter of not expressing themselves clearly. The small player doesn't like to be bullied into a trade that will turn them off on the game, while the bigger player has no idea that they are turning a player off to the game. They're just trying to help.
Yes, Zoof, I think you're right ... it's just a matter of misplaced goodwill and interfering with the rights of others without ever intending to do so. And some lower level players actually like when someone insists ... they don't want to feel as if they're taking advantage while they want the trades. But they sometimes start to rely too heavily on them when it isn't necessary.
In other words ... actually in your words ... how does one find that balance? I think in a perfect world, and only my opinion again, big players would say something like, "I offer zero star trades to players in chapters 1-4 to help them grow, which actually helps all of us grow as a fellowship. If you need them for tournament/spire goals, please ask. You'll be helping yourself and us, too. On the other hand, I know that some people look on zero and one star trades as a crutch, and would rather get through these early chapters without one. Some players prefer "fair" trades. Some even enjoy doing three star, to help neighbors or to clear trades quickly. We are all different and play differently. I respect your choices and I'll take all of your trades no matter how many stars they are."
Of course, when does anyone ever find a perfect world? lol. But this is how I operate on my higher ID, and this is how I would love to be treated on my lower ID. Some people just can't do this, because they think their own viewpoint is the most helpful, and don't understand why others refuse to comply. They resent others for not doing everything to help the team in taking generous trades. The lower level players resent the bigger ones for pushing them into something they don't want to do. They don't like what they perceive as cheating and will feel as if they haven't really "won" when they do accomplish something, and may even lose interest. A lot of resentment and bad feeling generates on both sides, which in the end harms the fellowship far more than merely taking/not taking trades does. It's a real psychological dilemma, for sure.
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Your Elvenar Team
