However I have been 'shamed' for spending as though I'm cheating or taking a shortcut and that affected my gaming experience.
Well, that's just plain silly. The game gives you diamonds to start you off, gives you diamonds for completing quests, gives you diamonds via RNG with the Spire chests, Genie, Wishing Well, Goddess of Wishes (I'm sure there's at least one I'm missing). If they didn't want you to spend it they wouldn't hand it to you like candy during war time - sparingly, but there, just the same. (We all know the sparingly part is because they want you to spend actual money. It's what makes the world go round, and they don't accept beads as payment like was done five centuries and more ago.)
I am sorry that someone felt it necessary to make it seem like a bad thing you used the resources available to you. I spent actual money on the game because I have a policy of supporting developers of games I enjoy playing. They have bills to pay too, and if they can't, then I don't get to play the game I like. So far it was just the once, but I have no shame in admitting I enjoy Elvenar enough to give a small token of financial support to keep the game running.
I'm afraid I'd have probably been very blunt and simply asked them if they thought the servers were free, or if they think the programmers and artists don't eat. That might seem rude, but so is making anyone think that spending their own money on the game, should they choose to do so, as being something reprehensible. It isn't. It's just another way to play.