If you think adequate support to your FS goals means that you have to completely cripple your city beyond your ability to recover, then you probably need to look at a different FS. Like several posters have said, you can actively participate and support the FA without completely crippling your city.
@CrazyWizard is probably right - you need to find an FS where you are a better fit.
This is not only "thinking inside my own game", it is just thinking about the game in general. If meeting the expectations of your FS is driving you to distraction and stressing you out, is this still fun for you? Yes, ARs are hard to get if your FS is trying to keep a top spot (I know there is a lot of disagreement on that, but I happen to be in the camp that thinks this is true), but are there other badges you can contribute that won't cripple your city? Is your FS really tracking how many of each badge each player puts down? Are they going to boot you because you only made 10 ARs, even though your dropped 100 statues?
We have a lot of players in our FS who are very gung ho on FA, but they don't expect everyone to be that way. Honestly, for most FAs, I still tear my city apart, bring in a bunch of extra T1 boosted manus, level 1 WS and T1 marble/plank manus for badges. But this is my choice. Nobody in my FS (even our most FA fanatic members) calls me on the carpet if I don't go nutso for an FA. I realize that this is not your experience, but maybe it should be. If you are being judged unworthy because you don't destroy your city and cripple your ability to grow for several weeks, then your FS is probably a bad fit.