Shenanigans Spire Master Interviews with Maximum Effort (Combined Thread)

[Ebonknight01]

Childe Roland to the Dark Tower Came is the title to a poem by Robert Browning written in the mid 1800s. I actually relate to it more as being the catalyst that prompted my favorite writer (Stephen King) to write his magnum opus (The Dark Tower Series). Anyways, Hello! I am the Spire Mage for the Fellowship "Maximum Effort" on Arendyll. We are a 61 week in a row Gold Spire FS, and you can read more about us in the "Fellowships seeking Members" forum since we are recruiting to fill some spots left by retiring members. This posting is not about recruiting though, it's about fun.

Spire is important to us, yes, but getting to the top is a bit of a letdown. No cake, no party, no balloon's, it's kind of a bummer. One of the things I started to do when I took over the job as Spire Mage was to start "interviewing" our Spire Masters as they summited to make it a little bit more fun and exciting. The response to my interviews has been great, and my FS really enjoys them. Some of us thought that sharing them with the community at large could be interesting, so here goes! We are nine weeks into them now, and I will be posting them every few days or so until I get caught up to the current one, and then I will post them once a week from then on.

To be interviewed in our FS you must 1) ascend to the top first before anyone else and 2) have not been interviewed before. If they have then I interview the next member after them to reach the top that has not been interviewed yet. These interviews are, of course, fictious and are quite silly at times. I have met a Canadian Klingon, a hippie, a motivational speaker, and even interviewed myself in a mirror once (I was SUCH a jerk...I totally see why my wife can't stand me). Anyways, the first interview was actually done on our Archmage "Rainbow9213" and she set the template for how the rest have been done since. I hope you all enjoy!

Look for "Week 1: Childe Rainbow9213 to the Spire of Eternity Came..." to read the first one! I will have it copied over and posted within about 30 minutes.
Ebonknight01

 

[Ebonknight01]

WEEK 1: Childe Rainbow9213 to the Spire of Eternity Came and absolutely crushed it in less than 15 minutes! Following is my real life interview with our intrepid leader, conducting over a period of six hours.* This is the first in a series of interviews I will be conducting with various "Spire Masters" in Maximum Effort over the next several weeks.

(I walk in three days late to the party, shaking ghost dust out of my hair. Rainbow is waiting for me wearing a shirt with a dragon looking creature on the front - wearing shades - with the words "Swagasauras Rex" emblazoned around it. She looks bored. I sit down and begin asking questions.)

Q1: How did you manage to finish the Spire so quickly?
A1: Easy. I just imagined LisaMV was behind me the entire time, wanting to "talk" to me about an AW thread mistake I made. (She shudders slightly, I do too, I can't help it)

Q2: What do you feel was the hardest part in your Spire conquest?
A2: I hate that ghost who always wants to do some "Sword Dancing"! Last week it was a pop-lock battle but this week it was a waltz, I cut my hands all up twirling around with my sword held in my arms like an idiot! Next week I'm sending in my armies!

Q3: What is the one thing you would change about the Spire if you could?
A3: I would add some old time video games, like Ms PacMan, Defender, Tetris, etc. I hate video games generally, and never ever play them of course, but I would make an exception for an arcade up here. (I nod in agreement as I too have a strong distaste and aversion to video games myself)

Q4: Who is the absolute most handsome member or Maximum Effort in Real Life?
A4: Why you, Ebonknight, I was shocked how amazingly young and ripped you are! Also, that flowing mane of hair of yours! You look just like that Fabio guy who used to be on the front covers of all those romance books - but much better! (I shrug, used to such compliments - it's my burden to bear...but why are her fingers crossed? I hope she doesn't have a hand cramp or something...)

*totally not true on several different levels
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Look for the next episode: "Week 2: Mike to the Spire of Eternity Came..." which I will have posted in a few minutes!

 

[Ebonknight01]

WEEK 2: Childe Mike F to the Spire of Eternity Came and absolutely destoryed it within about 20 minutes! Following is my RL interview with this Spire Master (who finished right behind Rainbow last week). This interview was conducted over a few hours time in a language we made up as we went. This is so true*, and I will leave a translated example as a footnote.**

(I drag in a few days after Mike, carrying the last remnants of my goods in an empty sack. Mike has his back to me, carving a solo tic tac toe game on the wall with his knife. I notice another 273 finished games all around the otherwise barren room, all of them "cats eyes" (tied). I hear him mutter furiously under his breath "This guy cheats!" as he ties himself yet again on game 274. I plop down wearily and start questioning him.)

Q1: How did you manage to finish the Spire so quickly, both weeks?
A1: Easy, dude. I just take the service elevator around back to the top floor. (I look mystified) Haven't you seen that sign that says "Spire Employees Only Past This Point"? (I nod) Yeah, so right past that is the elevator. Bing Bang Boom Done!

Q2: What was the hardest part in your Spire Conquest?
A2: Aww, it's always the big guy at the top, he has a hard time getting into the elevator for the ride down, so we have to get all mathematical and geometrical about it. I guess he heads off to see his mom in Vegas until the respawn.

Q3: What is the one thing you would change about the Spire?
A3: It's not Ultima Online, now that was a game! Also, I get tired of standing in this room 5 days a week you know.

Q4: Which member has the absolute best city in our fellowship?
A4: My man! Of course it's you, come-on! I mean, the beauty of your city with that one column (or is it row) halfway complete? Or the random buildings hanging out just because? Ermm...it's pure magic...(he trails off and coughs, and kicks at a nonexistent pebble, not meeting my eyes for some reason).

*Not true at all
**"Cthulhu" = "LisaMV" (don't say either name out loud though)
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Notes: LisaMV is actually the sweetest person ever, so I just poked a little fun at her in my first two interviews, moving forward I had a new target (cackle)
The next episode is "Week 3: Childe Konka to the Spire of Eternity Came..." and I will post it in a few days time (there are 9 total already done). Thanks for reading!

 

[crackie]

The next episode is "Childe Konka to the Spire of Eternity Came..."

Can you add to the investigative journalism for Konka, “Some kid on the forum asks if you live in the same town as the Tooth Fairy.”

Konka and @LisaMV in the same FS? Oh my…

 

[Ebonknight01]

Hi Crackie - Konka's interview was done a couple of months ago, I am just posting the old ones until I get caught up to the current interviews. I bet she does live in the same town though...there is something magical about her for sure. She literally finishes Spire EVERY week within about an hour of it popping! It's crazy. We call her the "Spire Queen" in our Fellowship for good reason, and my interview is about that actually.

 

[Ebonknight01]

And LisaMV is just awesome, except she is a pacifist and never joins in when I whip the FS up into a killing frenzy with my combat only Spire challenges. No one can be perfect though, so we can overlook that slight shortcoming I guess.

 

[LisaMV]

And LisaMV is just awesome, except she is a pacifist and never joins in when I whip the FS up into a killing frenzy with my combat only Spire challenges. No one can be perfect though, so we can overlook that slight shortcoming I guess.

 

[LisaMV]

Konka and @LisaMV in the same FS? Oh my…

Spire Addict + Spire Queen = match made in heaven! (Although my spire name is, sadly, TurtleMV. By the time I get up there, Konka has already cleaned & polished all her weapons, and packed for the Friday trip back home. It's embarrassing...)

 

[crackie]

I am curious to know if Konka can figure out who is asking if she lives in town with the Tooth Fairy without either of you disclosing the origins.

 

[Ebonknight01]

I asked her and did not divulge your name, perhaps I can work it into the interview as an addendum or something once she gets back to me.

 

[Ebonknight01]

Week 3: Childe Konka to the Spire of Eternity Came and conquered it utterly by iron and magic in short order! Following is my RL interview with this Spire Master. This interview was conducted in Olde English*.
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* There was a lot of thous, and thees, and pray tells, and ect. but I edited it for...you know...logic.

(I saunter in a full day after Konka, cheekily twirling my sword, stained from tip to hilt in blood. Konka stands regally before me, she is called the "Spire Queen" in some circles, and stories say she was already in gold while most were struggling to achieve silver. Legend has it, in fact, that when the developers finished designing the Spire and launched it for the very first time, she was already at the top measuring the windows for drapes right when it went live. I manage to bow to her without falling over (much) and start with the interview.)

Q1: How do you always finish Spire so quickly?
A1: (she looks puzzled) "ummm...it's the Spire? Hello? It's easy."

Q2: What was the hardest part in your Spire Conquest?
A2: (she looks peeved) "What did I just say Ebon? You know, it's better to be thought of as a fool than to open one's mouth and dispel all doubt. Think about what I just said carefully"

Q3: What is one thing you would change about the Spire?
A3: "I wish you could do Spire twice a week, in place of doing tournament. Tourney is a low pursuit, only fit for ruffians & barbarians." (She sniffs dismissively. I duck my head and look around warily, relieved that Madjaws did not hear this slight upon his beloved Tourney. He is a ruffian yes, but one without peer...or mercy).

Q4: Who is your favorite mage? (It's a softball question really because she's new to the FS, loves Spire, and I am the Spire mage, etc.)
A4: You? (I start to nod happily) You!? Really? Let me see, how long was I and several others up here before you managed to ascend? (She looks at her watch, then with a wolfish smile at me, looks at her calendar instead). Perhaps "Turtle Mage" would be a more suitable title for you, hmm?
(I think the stories are true, she really is royalty! She certainly acts like one, ouch!)

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One of our readers asked me to ask another question of Konka, and while I was nervous about approaching her again, I decided to try anyways due to my unfailing and constant pursuit of the truth and my love of investigative journalism. Following is what happened...word for word of course:

Q5: Umm, excuse me your magnificence, someone on the forum asked if you live in the same town as the tooth fairy?
A5: I don't know anyone by that name, peasant. If you're referring to RL, I live in N----, Tx.

Q6: No, I didn't mean if you knew a player by the name of "Tooth Fairy", I was just relaying a question by someone who asked if you live in the same town as the tooth fairy?
A6: Ohh...I know who asked, Crackie yes? She is not as low born or boring as you, but she doesn't believe East Texas exists!!! When obviously it does since I live there!

Q7: Really? It does? It kinda sounds like a place where the tooth fairy might reside, along with...you know...other sorts of mystical beings? Real place though huh - in East Texas you say? (I sound a little dubious myself, maybe Crackie's right, IS there an "East Texas", why would there be really? Hmmm....)
A7: ... (Shes says nothing, but I can say with 100% certainty that if looks could kill I would be a wastepaper basket.)

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This episode was originally done during a "combat only" week for us where I challenged everyone to fight their way to the top ONLY, no begging and/or bribing allowed. Five or six of us got it done including Konka and I, so that's why I was cheeky - at the start at least. I also received a very nasty "cease and desist" letter from the "powers that be" about my challenge, which I will post in a few days.
The next episode in this series is "Week 4: Childe Zhopel to the Spire of Eternity Came" which I will post a couple days after the letter I got. In game time I am now fixing to write the 10th episode tonight for this week's winner (Evonie) which all of you here on this forum can read in a few weeks once I get caught up to live. Thanks for reading!
Ebon
Maximum Effort Spire Mage

 

[crackie]

Following is my RL interview with this Spire Master. This interview was conducted in Olde English*.

Uh oh. It's gonna get proofread by @Darielle and @MaidenFair now.

A6: Ohh...I know who asked, Crackie yes?

Oh then it is she who I thought! I, again, yiketh at the thought of Konka and @LisaMV in the same FS.

(P.S. you might want to edit out her location for privacy purposes...)

I don't live in town with no stinking Tooth Fairies. Elves with shenanigans, maybe.

 

[LisaMV]

Week 3: Childe Konka to the Spire of Eternity Came and conquered it utterly by iron and magic in short order! Following is my RL interview with this Spire Master. This interview was conducted in Olde English*.

like! like! like! (why is it that we are not allowed to 'like' these posts? I really want an answer ~ I need convincing)
THIS is so great, so funny!
And yes ~ the first fellowship I left was because they refused to even try for spire silver, or bronze even... it was back in the beginning, when it was new, and most people considered it a stupid & expensive annoyance, and few took it seriously. (I was an addict since this first day I could do it)
When I happily got into Konka's FS, I had no idea she was perched at the top for days, like an Osprey, enjoying her 'alone time' every week until someone exclaimed in chat, after a month or so, "HOW DOES KONKA GET TO THE TOP SO QUICKLY - AND EVERY WEEK?!?!?"

I had never seen it, so I hired a helicopter and flew upwards from the throngs in Gateway, the few stellar players that got to High Halls (me), and OMG there she was! Quietly and regally sitting there like Buddha himself. No bragging, no cajoling, like a gracious Queen.

THIS is a true story.
Long Live Queen Konka!

 

[crackie]

She lives in town with mythical creatures that know all sorts of magic and sorcery.

 

[Ebonknight01]

She lives in town with mythical creatures that know all sorts of magic and sorcery.

This...



Is 100% True.

 

[Ebonknight01]

like! like! like! (why is it that we are not allowed to 'like' these posts? I really want an answer ~ I need convincing)

When I first started posting these, I got 8 likes in just the first hour then the moderators moved them here and I can't tell anymore. I hope people like them, I think people like them, but that's just a guess at this point.

 

[Dreamyn2]

I look forward to these posts and am one of those that keep looking for the Like button.

 

[The Fairy]

I look forward to these posts and am one of those that keep looking for the Like button.

Me too!

 

[Sir Squirrel]

Yes! We like the stories very much and can't wait for the next one! Keep up the great work!

 

[Ebonknight01]

Thanks all for the kind words all, I appreciate it! I will be posting the letter I mentioned receiving (in the last episode) later today, and the new episode (as promised) on Sunday.