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    Your Elvenar Team

Spire Master Interviews with Maximum Effort (Combined Thread)

Week 11: Childe MrCJ2589 to the Spire of Eternity Came and fast talked it into ruination! Following is my RL interview with this Spire Master conducted entirely by smoke signals* via two small campfires and dozens of woolen blankets (because they kept catching on fire). Fun Fact: the top of the Spire doesn't have any open windows so we both almost died due to smoke inhalation.

*= don't try lighting a campfire and fanning the flames around willy nilly to make smoke puffs in your house or other enclosed room with no ventilation unless you are a professional...like, you know, we TOTALLY were.

(I enter the room days after MrCJ. He is sitting in one corner covered in soot and smoke and coughing terribly as he frantically tries to put out a blazing woolen blanket. He is wearing a 1970's era White Leisure Suit with MASSIVE lapels - I mean, if those lapels could flap he could FLY kind of massive. He wears a baby blue shirt unbuttoned down to his navel and white shoes with huge black buckles. Both his shoes and his suit are now brownish blackish from all the soot and fiery embers floating around. I think his left leg is smoldering, but he refuses to notice. MrCJ is a man's man...err man. You got a broken bone sticking out of your body? Rub some dirt on it and get back in the game. Did he make a mistake in the AW swap threads? He offers the offended a chance to ritually scar him in the body part of their choice. He has several grown children, who he refers to as "cubs". You get the idea. I, on the other hand, am a total wimpy poo, and I am VERY worried about the 200-degree inferno that the top room has turned into, but you know, I got to be cool and act as unperturbed as MrCJ is. Just cuz.

Q1: How did you ascend so fast?
A1: I'm not sure myself, it seems like a lot of people were distracted by the new FA so up I went with no problems. (He has very large white teeth and flashes a winning grin at me before he coughs up a little blood. We both pretend not to notice and continue.)

Q2. What was the hardest part in your Spire ascend?
A2. (He chokes for a second and stops breathing. I wait.) It was too fast; I really think we are going about this all wrong. (He nods earnestly and almost pitches into the fire) We need to slow down and award the person who finishes last! Like...seconds before the Spire ends! We could call it the "Leisure Larry Cup Challenge" or something like that. (I frown, if my "cloudy" memory serves, he missed the top last week because he was testing the "Leisure Larry Cup Challenge" idea.)

Q3. What is the one thing you would change about the Spire?
A3: They should all pay rent! All those ghosts are free loaders! They should be paying $3 gold per square foot + Triple Net. It's all about location, and they have it because there is only one way up! (I want to remind him about the elevator, but I am too dizzy. Also, MrCJ has gotten VERY "frugal" (cheap) with the start of the F.A. he literally nuked over half his city and put in hundreds of level 1 factories and workshops...he has totally become a Slum Lord and loves it! Thinking about charging the ghosts rent makes him happy and who am I to mess with a burgeoning slum lord's dream?)

Q4: Who has the best slums in M.E.? (I throw him a bone because I can't think of anything more clever - partly because I have zero imagination and partly because I haven't breathed real air in about two minutes)
A4: Me! I bulldozed about 70% of my city, and...(he hacks and falls over. I would help him, but I am too busy lying on my back counting the stars that are rapidly fading into grey.)
The next episode titled: "Week 12: Childe Zoof to the Spire of Eternity Came" will be posted this coming Wednesday. As always, thank you for reading!
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New Member
Childe Roland to the Dark Tower Came is the title to a poem by Robert Browning written in the mid 1800s. I actually relate to it more as being the catalyst that prompted my favorite writer (Stephen King) to write his magnum opus (The Dark Tower Series). Anyways, Hello! I am the Spire Mage for the Fellowship "Maximum Effort" on Arendyll. We are a 61 week in a row Gold Spire FS, and you can read more about us in the "Fellowships seeking Members" forum since we are recruiting to fill some spots left by retiring members. This posting is not about recruiting though, it's about fun.

Spire is important to us, yes, but getting to the top is a bit of a letdown. No cake, no party, no balloon's, it's kind of a bummer. :( One of the things I started to do when I took over the job as Spire Mage was to start "interviewing" our Spire Masters as they summited to make it a little bit more fun and exciting. The response to my interviews has been great, and my FS really enjoys them. Some of us thought that sharing them with the community at large could be interesting, so here goes! We are nine weeks into them now, and I will be posting them every few days or so until I get caught up to the current one, and then I will post them once a week from then on.

To be interviewed in our FS you must 1) ascend to the top first before anyone else and 2) have not been interviewed before. If they have then I interview the next member after them to reach the top that has not been interviewed yet. These interviews are, of course, fictious and are quite silly at times. I have met a Canadian Klingon, a hippie, a motivational speaker, and even interviewed myself in a mirror once (I was SUCH a jerk...I totally see why my wife can't stand me). Anyways, the first interview was actually done on our Archmage "Rainbow9213" and she set the template for how the rest have been done since. I hope you all enjoy!

Look for "Week 1: Childe Rainbow9213 to the Spire of Eternity Came..." to read the first one! I will have it copied over and posted within about 30 minutes.
When I get to the top of the Spire I'd like to see all the little pictures of the group sitting around the bar/ Knights table whatever. I feel alone in that icy cold room at the top
Week 12: Childe Zoof to the Spire of Eternity Came and beat it down prison yard style! Here is my RL interview with this Spire Master conducted entirely by carrier pigeons...which was a real pain because they kept flying out the windows; even though there was NO windows last week when MrCJ and I were busy breathing smoke! The Spire cheats, I have come to this realization.

(I walk in two days late - to no one's surprise - and catch Zoof spinning in circles in the middle of the room: arms out, face uplifted, a big grin on his face. I later find out that he has indeed been spinning like that for two days straight. That's Zoof. He is new to M.E. and has had a challenging time of it apparently. During the first tourney in our F.S. his troops found out the hard way that scrolls are not ideal for putting out fires (who knew, right?), and while "pacifying" the nearby lands, his troops encountered enemies made entirely out of...drugs? That is really what he reported to us in guild chat. Wow. And gee, he fits right in with us really!)

Q1: How did you ascend so quickly?
A1: I offered time and a half to the Spire guild to take a little snoozy poo. It was so easy!

Q2: What was the hardest part?
A2: Paying them of course! I had to get a little creative with the financing if you know what I mean... (He winks. I actually have no idea what he means. I have discovered that to be the case about many of Zoof's posts in chat, but it is all very entertaining at least, and I think it is quite possible that he is as zany as MrCJ or myself or Lisa or Rainbow or...well, you get the idea.)

Q3: What is the one thing you would change about the Spire?
A3: I think if you finish Spire in one world it should be finished in another. In that other world I am an elf. Also known as "He-who-wears-Elf-makeup" (He is whispering at the end, like he is divulging a great secret. I am thinking he should cut down on his caffeine intake
by at least half)

Q4: Who has the best name in M.E.?
A4: MadJaws for sure! (Why do I even try I wonder) He is like a Shark when it comes to Tourney, and he can rack up some "Mad" scores too! Like a rabid shark, maybe a very angry shark, well...a highly annoyed shark at the least! After that... (I look up hopefully) ...it would be me of course. ZOOF! A noble name with a proud heritage while also SO versatile! I can be the Zoofster, the Zoofarooni, the Zoofameister, (On second thought, he needs to go on decaf, stat!) the Zooftini, the Zoofinator, the...
The next episode titled: "Week 13: Childe XLWizard to the Spire of Eternity Came" will be posted this coming Sunday. Also, we have one opening in our FS for a more established city. You can read more about it in the Arendyll "Fellowships Looking for Players" forum where I will update a posting there from a few months ago to reflect more accurately what we are looking for now. Interested in being a part of this FS with its highly entertaining gallery of rogues? Go there to check it out! Thanks for reading!


Well-Known Member
I fervently defend my position on what I found out in the wilds. Behold, the face of Evil!


Look at me, right in the eyes, and tell me with a straight face that the creature I have showed you isn't made of marijuana.


Well-Known Member
I fervently defend my position on what I found out in the wilds. Behold, the face of Evil!

View attachment 13418

Look at me, right in the eyes, and tell me with a straight face that the creature I have showed you isn't made of marijuana.
oh! by golly, she certainly does look like the MaryJ Flower Fairy!
...but evil? well, she looks like she sure can cast a ferociously spellbinding spell. I would stay clear.
From my point of view, she is just greenish/brownish, so I would "debrief" your soldiers a bit more before believing everything they say Zoof. Just a thought. ;)


Eater of Crawfish
I fervently defend my position on what I found out in the wilds. Behold, the face of Evil!

View attachment 13418

Look at me, right in the eyes, and tell me with a straight face that the creature I have showed you isn't made of marijuana.
Why you should all be ashamed of yourselves....judging this beautiful lady as you do a book by it's cover. I happen to know her quite well. She is charming (no pun intended...ok maybe a little), witty, playful, 420 friendly and most of all, if she likes you she will mate with you then eat you!!!!
Week 13: Childe XLWizard to the Spire of Eternity Came and beguiled it into bewilderment! Here is my RL interview with this Spire Master conducted entirely by mental telepathy, which was hard on XL because he said all he got from my end was static.

(I walk in 3 or 4 days late - but who's counting right - and see XL stepping out of a wall! He really is a wizard! Also, faintly, from somewhere I hear the theme song to "Cheers", you know..."You want to go where everybody knows your name...dum dum dum dah...and their always glad you came...dum dum dum dah (blah blah blah)" ANYWAYS - Love that Song!! XL looks at me glumly, "So, whoever you are, you actually came...". He sighs deeply. He also seems to be holding a freshly drawn mug of ale.

Q1: How did you make it up the Spire so fast?
A1: I am a wizard, dolt. Nuff said. Let's hurry I have a party...err...a meeting to get back to. (He glances over his shoulder at the wall)

Q2: What was the hardest part in ascending?
A2: I like Ale. Ale likes me. (He takes a pull) Sometimes, as I am making my way up the Spire, I need to take a bathroom break and there are NO stinking bathrooms in the Spire! That causes a "Look out Below" kind of experience for anyone milling around at the bottom or under any window. (I wonder if anyone ever gets angry about that) Pfft, if they did, they wouldn't dare do anything, my Toe Fungus spell is legendary! (I nod, wait, how did he know I was thinking that?) Because we are communicating through telepathy, remember? (Oh, right) He sighs again and says morosely...blue, three, Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory, and your dog is named Charley. Why are you testing me now? We are halfway done with the interview already! (Oh, right)

A3: One thing you would change?
Q3: (He shifts nervously) Oh, I would love to build a secret tavern up here, you know, where you could drink, sing, dance, hang out with your FS...things like that. (He notices he has an Ale in his hand at this point and hides it behind his back. I realize then that no other M.E. seem to be around. Curious.)

A4: Whose the...
Q4: (A cleverly hidden door opens behind him and Rainbow sticks her head out) Hey XL, let's do some shots!" She sees me suddenly and with an "EEP!" ducks her head back in. I look at XL, he just shrugs and waves his hand in front of my face. I get so SO sleepy and my toes start to itch something fierce!
The next episode titled: "Week 14: Childe Aeolas to the Spire of Eternity Came" will be posted this coming Wednesday. As always, thanks for reading!


Well-Known Member
Classic. Is there any fellow who isn't a spiremaster? Maybe an interview with them or perhaps it would be better called a dressing down.
When any fellow makes it to the top, and I haven't interviewed them yet, then they are automatically a "Spire Master"! In my FS, I just finished my 15th interview, but pretty much everyone tops spire every week with us.... even the fellows with busy schedules or other constraints must top 3 out of 4 weeks so we are all darn good at spire, just some are quicker than others. I am normally middle of the pack to one of the last up (which is why I constantly mock myself through the weeks). But I can jet up too if I want, like this week I knocked it out in 20 minutes because all of my troop buff buildings were an hour away from expiring. If I wanted to brag, which of course I wouldn't, I would probably mention I actually finished Spire in 16 minutes, but I would never mention that. ;)

I could interview myself again (just because), but I am still sore from the four hour "pose off" I had against...myself...and I lost anyways. To hell with that guy! Sneaky jerk that he is...


Day and Night Trader
it is totally UNFAIR that that someone broke the like button. I think it was just plain spite - projected by the spire minions on this one fellowship.