Week 22: Childe MadJaws to the Spire of Eternity Came and nuked it into oblivion! Literally. My RL interview with this Spire Master was...stressful. Why? Well, for one I had to stand PERFECTLY at attention the entire time while SCREAMING my questions and/or answers back to him ALWAYS followed by "SIR! YES SIR!"...and yes, there was a reason for this. At the end of every sentence, I will just write SYS! so you understand exactly what transpired and why. It wasn't pretty.
Anyways, this interview was really scary. MadJaws is a legend, he is known in our FS as The "Sarge in Charge". I call him the "Eternal Carry" He is an absolute beast in Tourney and expects the same zeal from all of us in our weekly battles. He occasionally let's slip that he thinks of us all (fondly) as his "cannon fodder"...whatever that means.
You don't talk to MadJaws, he barks AT you, and then you better answer as quickly and precisely as you can or suffer his wrath. He doesn't much care for fools. He also doesn't much care for Spire and so it too has suffered his displeasure. As a result, our interview is conducted on the ground floor, which is glowing, smoking, and the only floor left...the rest of his Spire was nuked into next week (I wasn't kidding about that in my intro).
The Sarge is standing ramrod straight in the exact center of the hot, smoking ruins, a sneer on his face as I approach. His sunglasses reflect the fitful fires around him and I think he is chewing coal? For fun? All of his troops are wearing radiation suits, but The Sarge is not. I think I actually see radiation shrinking back from him in fright...I swear to God. Also, he is not the Sarge, he is always and forever The Sarge. Don't make the mistake of not capitalizing the "T" when addressing him; if you do, he might teach you his favorite yoga pose: its where your torso rests 4 feet from your legs and arms.
By the way, I was not given a radiation suit myself, his fearful minions...err soldiers...said something about "I wouldn't be staying around long enough for it to matter".
Q1: How did you ascend so fast? SYS!
A1: (He Spits out a diamond in disgust at my question) I DIDN"T ASCEND PUDGY! I DROPPED THOSE WIMPS DOWN TO ME! I DON"T CLIMB, I LEVEL!
Q2: How did you manage to do it so quickly? SYS!
A2: A TITAN 2 MISSLE YOU WEAKLING! DROP AND GIVE ME 200!!!
Q3: (Several hours later...and still winded, and feeling strangely weak(er) and sort of nauseas) What was the hardest part? SYS!
A3: HAVING TO ASSOCIATE WITH WIMPY POOS LIKE YOU, BALLERINA BOY! I THINK THIS GAME NEEDS SOME PVP ACTION! WHAT DO YOU THINK? HECK, I BET I ALREADY KNOW WHAT YOU THINK! ITS GOING TO BE "SYS!" RIGHT? WELL SON, LETS TRY IT OUT! MY CITY IS GOING TO INVADE YOURS, MAY THE BEST SARGE STOMP! YOU DOWN FOR THAT, TWINKLETOES? MY GOSH AND GOLLY I THINK I ALREADY KNOW! ITS GOING TO BE "SYS!" AGAIN, EH? HOT DAMN LETS GET TO IT THEN!
Q4: (Me screaming and running away) SYS!
A4: WELL, LOOKEE HERE I GOT ME ANOTHER TITAN 2! INCOMING!!
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Sorry about the wait on this one. I was on a 10-day cruise vacation with the wife and forgot to post MadJaw's interview before I left. Anyways, next week will be more or less on time and is titled "
Week 23: Childe Nonymouse to the Spire of Eternity Came".
Also, we have a roster spot coming up in about a week, you can check out my FS recruitment thread in Arendyll's "Fellowships Looking For Members" forum but we pretty much excel at everything: Fellowship Adventures? (last round ranked #4 on the server) Spire? (typically ranked in top 8 or 10 but ALWAYS Gold no matter what) Tourney? (We finished our first 19 chest run two weeks ago but typically do 16 at least). Check us out if you are looking for a change of pace, and yup, I will indeed interview you too!
As always, thanks for reading and Happy Turkey Day everyone!
Ebon