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Mystery within mystery
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Your Elvenar Team
Spire Master Interviews with Maximum Effort (Combined Thread)
- Thread starter Ebonknight01
- Start date
Ebonknight01
Member
You're like a mystery wrapped up in an enigma with a side of more mystery...and a conundrum for dessert!
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Ebonknight01
Member
Week 22: Childe MadJaws to the Spire of Eternity Came and nuked it into oblivion! Literally. My RL interview with this Spire Master was...stressful. Why? Well, for one I had to stand PERFECTLY at attention the entire time while SCREAMING my questions and/or answers back to him ALWAYS followed by "SIR! YES SIR!"...and yes, there was a reason for this. At the end of every sentence, I will just write SYS! so you understand exactly what transpired and why. It wasn't pretty.
Anyways, this interview was really scary. MadJaws is a legend, he is known in our FS as The "Sarge in Charge". I call him the "Eternal Carry" He is an absolute beast in Tourney and expects the same zeal from all of us in our weekly battles. He occasionally let's slip that he thinks of us all (fondly) as his "cannon fodder"...whatever that means.
You don't talk to MadJaws, he barks AT you, and then you better answer as quickly and precisely as you can or suffer his wrath. He doesn't much care for fools. He also doesn't much care for Spire and so it too has suffered his displeasure. As a result, our interview is conducted on the ground floor, which is glowing, smoking, and the only floor left...the rest of his Spire was nuked into next week (I wasn't kidding about that in my intro).
The Sarge is standing ramrod straight in the exact center of the hot, smoking ruins, a sneer on his face as I approach. His sunglasses reflect the fitful fires around him and I think he is chewing coal? For fun? All of his troops are wearing radiation suits, but The Sarge is not. I think I actually see radiation shrinking back from him in fright...I swear to God. Also, he is not the Sarge, he is always and forever The Sarge. Don't make the mistake of not capitalizing the "T" when addressing him; if you do, he might teach you his favorite yoga pose: its where your torso rests 4 feet from your legs and arms.
By the way, I was not given a radiation suit myself, his fearful minions...err soldiers...said something about "I wouldn't be staying around long enough for it to matter".
Q1: How did you ascend so fast? SYS!
A1: (He Spits out a diamond in disgust at my question) I DIDN"T ASCEND PUDGY! I DROPPED THOSE WIMPS DOWN TO ME! I DON"T CLIMB, I LEVEL!
Q2: How did you manage to do it so quickly? SYS!
A2: A TITAN 2 MISSLE YOU WEAKLING! DROP AND GIVE ME 200!!!
Q3: (Several hours later...and still winded, and feeling strangely weak(er) and sort of nauseas) What was the hardest part? SYS!
A3: HAVING TO ASSOCIATE WITH WIMPY POOS LIKE YOU, BALLERINA BOY! I THINK THIS GAME NEEDS SOME PVP ACTION! WHAT DO YOU THINK? HECK, I BET I ALREADY KNOW WHAT YOU THINK! ITS GOING TO BE "SYS!" RIGHT? WELL SON, LETS TRY IT OUT! MY CITY IS GOING TO INVADE YOURS, MAY THE BEST SARGE STOMP! YOU DOWN FOR THAT, TWINKLETOES? MY GOSH AND GOLLY I THINK I ALREADY KNOW! ITS GOING TO BE "SYS!" AGAIN, EH? HOT DAMN LETS GET TO IT THEN!
Q4: (Me screaming and running away) SYS!
A4: WELL, LOOKEE HERE I GOT ME ANOTHER TITAN 2! INCOMING!!
-------------------------------
Sorry about the wait on this one. I was on a 10-day cruise vacation with the wife and forgot to post MadJaw's interview before I left. Anyways, next week will be more or less on time and is titled "Week 23: Childe Nonymouse to the Spire of Eternity Came".
Also, we have a roster spot coming up in about a week, you can check out my FS recruitment thread in Arendyll's "Fellowships Looking For Members" forum but we pretty much excel at everything: Fellowship Adventures? (last round ranked #4 on the server) Spire? (typically ranked in top 8 or 10 but ALWAYS Gold no matter what) Tourney? (We finished our first 19 chest run two weeks ago but typically do 16 at least). Check us out if you are looking for a change of pace, and yup, I will indeed interview you too!
As always, thanks for reading and Happy Turkey Day everyone!
Ebon
Anyways, this interview was really scary. MadJaws is a legend, he is known in our FS as The "Sarge in Charge". I call him the "Eternal Carry" He is an absolute beast in Tourney and expects the same zeal from all of us in our weekly battles. He occasionally let's slip that he thinks of us all (fondly) as his "cannon fodder"...whatever that means.
You don't talk to MadJaws, he barks AT you, and then you better answer as quickly and precisely as you can or suffer his wrath. He doesn't much care for fools. He also doesn't much care for Spire and so it too has suffered his displeasure. As a result, our interview is conducted on the ground floor, which is glowing, smoking, and the only floor left...the rest of his Spire was nuked into next week (I wasn't kidding about that in my intro).
The Sarge is standing ramrod straight in the exact center of the hot, smoking ruins, a sneer on his face as I approach. His sunglasses reflect the fitful fires around him and I think he is chewing coal? For fun? All of his troops are wearing radiation suits, but The Sarge is not. I think I actually see radiation shrinking back from him in fright...I swear to God. Also, he is not the Sarge, he is always and forever The Sarge. Don't make the mistake of not capitalizing the "T" when addressing him; if you do, he might teach you his favorite yoga pose: its where your torso rests 4 feet from your legs and arms.
By the way, I was not given a radiation suit myself, his fearful minions...err soldiers...said something about "I wouldn't be staying around long enough for it to matter".
Q1: How did you ascend so fast? SYS!
A1: (He Spits out a diamond in disgust at my question) I DIDN"T ASCEND PUDGY! I DROPPED THOSE WIMPS DOWN TO ME! I DON"T CLIMB, I LEVEL!
Q2: How did you manage to do it so quickly? SYS!
A2: A TITAN 2 MISSLE YOU WEAKLING! DROP AND GIVE ME 200!!!
Q3: (Several hours later...and still winded, and feeling strangely weak(er) and sort of nauseas) What was the hardest part? SYS!
A3: HAVING TO ASSOCIATE WITH WIMPY POOS LIKE YOU, BALLERINA BOY! I THINK THIS GAME NEEDS SOME PVP ACTION! WHAT DO YOU THINK? HECK, I BET I ALREADY KNOW WHAT YOU THINK! ITS GOING TO BE "SYS!" RIGHT? WELL SON, LETS TRY IT OUT! MY CITY IS GOING TO INVADE YOURS, MAY THE BEST SARGE STOMP! YOU DOWN FOR THAT, TWINKLETOES? MY GOSH AND GOLLY I THINK I ALREADY KNOW! ITS GOING TO BE "SYS!" AGAIN, EH? HOT DAMN LETS GET TO IT THEN!
Q4: (Me screaming and running away) SYS!
A4: WELL, LOOKEE HERE I GOT ME ANOTHER TITAN 2! INCOMING!!
-------------------------------
Sorry about the wait on this one. I was on a 10-day cruise vacation with the wife and forgot to post MadJaw's interview before I left. Anyways, next week will be more or less on time and is titled "Week 23: Childe Nonymouse to the Spire of Eternity Came".
Also, we have a roster spot coming up in about a week, you can check out my FS recruitment thread in Arendyll's "Fellowships Looking For Members" forum but we pretty much excel at everything: Fellowship Adventures? (last round ranked #4 on the server) Spire? (typically ranked in top 8 or 10 but ALWAYS Gold no matter what) Tourney? (We finished our first 19 chest run two weeks ago but typically do 16 at least). Check us out if you are looking for a change of pace, and yup, I will indeed interview you too!
As always, thanks for reading and Happy Turkey Day everyone!
Ebon
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Dreamyn2
Buddy Fan Club member
So fun to read these! Thank you @Ebonknight01 and happy Thanksgiving!
Sir Squirrel
Artist EXTRAORDINAIRE and Buddy Fan Club member
Again Ebonknight, thanks for the fun read! Always looking forward to the next one!
Ebonknight01
Member
Week 23: Childe Nonymouse to the Spire of Eternity Came and sliced and diced her way up to the top - three different ways! Literally. My real life interview with this Spire Master was tough because for the first time this was more of a group beatdown...err...discussion, than a one on one talk. I came here to interview Nonymouse, but two other ladies are present as well: Shyannon and Brattatude. I am ushered in to see them by some other totally random named Brattacular...not related to the first three of course.
Each woman in front of me speaks a word, then another the second, then the last the third, then the first the fourth word, etc, etc. Confused yet? Yeah, me too. Since I was alone, I was forbidden to speak but one out of every three words, which was kind of hard until I got the ". of it". err I meant the "hang . it". Wait, no: the "hang . ." is what I meant to say. See? Easy. What could go wrong?
All three are dressed in robes: white, grey, & black. They are dealing with a LOT of string, like a ton of it, and are constantly weaving it out from this massive loom. Nonymouse straightens and organizes the threads, Shyannon weaves them, and Brattatude cuts them. I really have no clue why they are doing what they are doing, but they all seem very intent on their work.
Oh. All three have red hair also. Just saying. Come to think of it, Brattacular had red hair too, I think. Well, it's a very common hair color among women (obviously), so I'm sure there was nothing suspicious about it at all.
Q1: How . . ascend . .?
A1: He's as dense as we were told. (All three ignore me as they continue to work, they are currently dealing with a line made up entirely of vibrant rainbows) "No snippy on this one" they murmur. One after the other. I'm telling you; it was hard to understand. Lucky that I am so astute, but why were they calling the line dense? Also...how do they know that the line they are working on is a "he"? Its inanimate. Duh.
Q2: What . . hardest . . your .?
A2: Annoying, which of us invited him here again? (Nonymouse sighs in pleasure as she weaves out a line composed entirely of sparkles and fairy dust). They weave it over and over again, lengthening it out considerably. Brattatude has even tucked her scissors away in fact.
Q3: What . . change . . Spire?
A3: Is he still talking to us? (They are now gingerly handling a thick rope of solid black; it looks dangerous and even angry somehow. Brat considers cutting it, but instead innocently places her scissors down. Sweat beads on her brow.)
Q4: Who . . favorite . . M.E.?
A4: Did he seriously just ask us that? (Nonymouse shakes her head in disbelief and pulls a straggly dull brown thread from her loom and for the first time looks at me. I feel like I am being judged, and it's not going well. Shyannon stops weaving and looks up at me with a frown too as Brat throws Nony the scissors with a smirk).
What . . doing . . scissors?!
---------------------------------------------------------------
The next installment will be called "Week 24: Childe Brattatude to the Spire of Eternity Came". I would like to give you all a semi-firm commitment about when it will be posted, but my real life is crazy busy right now and I have several projects that I am juggling. And I really suck at juggling! Shocker, I know. As always though, thanks for reading!
Ebon
Each woman in front of me speaks a word, then another the second, then the last the third, then the first the fourth word, etc, etc. Confused yet? Yeah, me too. Since I was alone, I was forbidden to speak but one out of every three words, which was kind of hard until I got the ". of it". err I meant the "hang . it". Wait, no: the "hang . ." is what I meant to say. See? Easy. What could go wrong?
All three are dressed in robes: white, grey, & black. They are dealing with a LOT of string, like a ton of it, and are constantly weaving it out from this massive loom. Nonymouse straightens and organizes the threads, Shyannon weaves them, and Brattatude cuts them. I really have no clue why they are doing what they are doing, but they all seem very intent on their work.
Oh. All three have red hair also. Just saying. Come to think of it, Brattacular had red hair too, I think. Well, it's a very common hair color among women (obviously), so I'm sure there was nothing suspicious about it at all.
Q1: How . . ascend . .?
A1: He's as dense as we were told. (All three ignore me as they continue to work, they are currently dealing with a line made up entirely of vibrant rainbows) "No snippy on this one" they murmur. One after the other. I'm telling you; it was hard to understand. Lucky that I am so astute, but why were they calling the line dense? Also...how do they know that the line they are working on is a "he"? Its inanimate. Duh.
Q2: What . . hardest . . your .?
A2: Annoying, which of us invited him here again? (Nonymouse sighs in pleasure as she weaves out a line composed entirely of sparkles and fairy dust). They weave it over and over again, lengthening it out considerably. Brattatude has even tucked her scissors away in fact.
Q3: What . . change . . Spire?
A3: Is he still talking to us? (They are now gingerly handling a thick rope of solid black; it looks dangerous and even angry somehow. Brat considers cutting it, but instead innocently places her scissors down. Sweat beads on her brow.)
Q4: Who . . favorite . . M.E.?
A4: Did he seriously just ask us that? (Nonymouse shakes her head in disbelief and pulls a straggly dull brown thread from her loom and for the first time looks at me. I feel like I am being judged, and it's not going well. Shyannon stops weaving and looks up at me with a frown too as Brat throws Nony the scissors with a smirk).
What . . doing . . scissors?!
---------------------------------------------------------------
The next installment will be called "Week 24: Childe Brattatude to the Spire of Eternity Came". I would like to give you all a semi-firm commitment about when it will be posted, but my real life is crazy busy right now and I have several projects that I am juggling. And I really suck at juggling! Shocker, I know. As always though, thanks for reading!
Ebon