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    Your Elvenar Team

How do you deal with a no-help request? (And how People Negatively Interact on Forums)

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muffy.

Chef - Scroll-Keeper - Chandelier Swinger - EAA
@Duke00012 … yes I played nice duke and you know it . And no I didn’t do no dog pile … therefore “ya’ll “ isn’t the case here . There’s a few , just has there’s a few good . But you take that then demean them with words … Everyone has an opinion . Everyone is entitled to that opinion… doesn’t mean they have to match . We are all different . And you don’t need to be rude and mean to anyone ever . That takes away any sign of intelligence people might have thought you had . So just drop the anger please
 

MaidenFair

Chef - Head Philologist
Positive reinforcement of negative behavior is bad for training. The world should perhaps tolerate the "Karens" a little less and try to put them in their place sooner to save us all from them later. The odds of reforming them are low, but if you give in to their unreasonableness the odds are zero.
But there’s a difference between remonstrating with someone in a kind, patient manner and responding with snark or rudeness. That kind of response teaches them nothing except that the world is just as mean as they expected, thus justifying their angry, hurt attitude. The only way to break the cycle of unkindness/annoyance/rudeness is to step out of it yourself, instead of trying to force other people out of it.
 

quin629

Well-Known Member
In an odd way, it has come completely back on topic. A forum by definition invites others to give their opinions. When someone then objects to a response that does not align with their own, isn't that very much like the OP's issue with a player refusing help that does not align with their stated preference? And in both instances I think we are seeing that the 'tone' of the response is at least as important as the content of the response in how a group then reacts.
 

Deborah M

Oh Wise One
Just proves that you know nothing of what you posted.

Hmm. Apparently you are indicating that you are a student? Don't even think about trying to out arrogant me. I did college, grad school and had a 40 year long career as a CPA. Frankly, I would have fired you or anybody who came off with your attitude on the spot in a workplace. I hope you consider that when you are done your education. A career is not all about book knowledge.

So far as the original post goes, apparently the player who sent the not so nice message in the first place also thinks the world, or at least the game, revolves around them. That is becoming a real problem when demands are made that are totally self-serving. I sure won't cater to demands made on me by virtual associates.

Adding, I did do map visits yesterday for the first time in a while. As I have always said, it netted me a bunch of KP since it maxed out my coin multiple times. Since between chapters is the time to focus on upgrading AW, I am glad for the reminder. Just a note for anybody else who has drifted away from map visits.
 
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Darielle

Chef, Scroll-Keeper, and Buddy Fan Club Member
In the world as a whole, there is so much hatred and meanness.
Why not send love ("Sorry, I mis-clicked. I'll leave you alone now.") Instead of stepping 'way down into that mire that the other person is in by trying to annoy them further????
Although I do love the sentiment, it's not a logical one. There is no way that you can ever assure them of "leaving them alone" without seriously impacting yourself on a daily basis, trying to keep an eye out for their name. Frankly, anyone who is that nitpicky is not worth my ongoing time for the next week, month, year, or however long they are on Elvenar.
 

Darielle

Chef, Scroll-Keeper, and Buddy Fan Club Member
I think Maidenfair was referring to the OP's problem. But I agree with you on the later off-topic developments.
 

shimmerfly

Well-Known Member
@Duke00012
Okay, I really would like to see your test results. Possibly they could "help" us solve the apparant problem of clicking on the incorrect help visits.
As far as dog pile goes... you are kidding aren't you? We have always tried to keep the forum as pleasant as possible....until... someone posts insults etc. that are unreasonably silly or attack a persons opinion. I'm curious as to what the course of study was??
 

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Alram

Flippers just flip
The best revenge is for a person who feels wronged to secretly get themselves a mod job with a big fat ban hammer. :cool:
 

Ashrem

Oh Wise One
Even presuming that anything about the apparent data collection methodology satisfied the sniff test for a an academic project, I have doubts this would get past the ethics analysis at any institution.

"My project revolves around anonymously attacking a popular figure on a public forum which has a very low tolerance for aggression and see what percentage of active users can be enticed to respond negatively. if initial results don't prove my expectations, I'll start using rude and derogatory terms for people to escalate their responses. I don't anticpate any ethical concerns with deliberately trying to aggravate strangers in public in order to get the results I expect. "
 
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muffy.

Chef - Scroll-Keeper - Chandelier Swinger - EAA
@Alram .. the best and sweetest revenge is simply ignoring in my opinion. Pests have a tendency to wear out there welcome by themselves or die trying .
Unfortunately mods, whether they be secret or well known can’t act like some buffoons here . They can’t go secretly make all kinds of accounts and names to “hide” under and start antics, like arguing with themselves or enticing others to do so, like you see here. They have to behave like the adults that they are. I’m sure it’s very hard when in reality they prolly wanna reach out and ….gently shake the buffoon back to reality . Personally , I’d remove the buffoons and ask questions later.
 

Dew Spinner

Well-Known Member
You guys are going to keep at the dog pile until this thread gets locked and nobody can express their opinions on the topic.
 

Ashrem

Oh Wise One
You guys are going to keep at the dog pile until this thread gets locked and nobody can express their opinions on the topic.
I don't think anyone has many more opinions to express that will actually add to the thread, so I'm ok if it gets locked.

But now I'm remembering the good old days when I would occasionally change the subject of my threads to something like "Why Someone Needs to be the Centre of Attention all the time" Good times.....

edit: There. Topicality restored.
 

muffy.

Chef - Scroll-Keeper - Chandelier Swinger - EAA
@Ashrem , so your question of what to do in a no help situation has pretty much been answered in various ways . Hope it all helps and makes sense in the end.
 

Queen of Snacks

Snack Hoarder
Perhaps you're right.
Looking at this thread as an example, duke(aka dew spinner) came in full toxic Karen-mode and was not treated well for it.

I don't think accusing Dew of being Duke is appropriate. Neither is name calling, there no reason to call anyone any derogatory names.

It's also not okay to attack people who are not on the Forum anymore to defend themselves. So former Mods and Jack are off limits. Be adults and let it go.

Edited to correct a typo
 
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