Fiona Selah
Well-Known Member
Hmmm, that's a good thought
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Your Elvenar Team
How do you deal with a no-help request? (And how People Negatively Interact on Forums)
- Thread starter Ashrem
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bkbajb
Well-Known Member
I have 1 like that and I ignore them. I go through my notifications daily and help everyone. Since they will not be on there then they get nothing. But if for an event I need to give help I pick the closest cities. It is for me at this point and not them
MaidenFair
Chef - Head Philologist
In my dealings with online folk, I try to remember that I have no clue what's going on in their lives. They may be dealing with depression or anxiety, they may have just been in a car wreck or had no sleep for a week with a sick baby, they may have autism or dementia. Some people are just mean, of course, but in that case, I figure it's even more important that I respond kindly and not in kind. 
In this instance, I'd probably just send something short back, like: "I'm sorry my neighbourly help has been a frustration to you. I do try to pay attention to people's stated requests but I misclick occasionally, especially when I'm in a hurry. I'll make sure to avoid giving you help in future, if that's what you wish. Hope you enjoy the game!"
In this instance, I'd probably just send something short back, like: "I'm sorry my neighbourly help has been a frustration to you. I do try to pay attention to people's stated requests but I misclick occasionally, especially when I'm in a hurry. I'll make sure to avoid giving you help in future, if that's what you wish. Hope you enjoy the game!"getmomo
Well-Known Member
I don't have time to check what everyone wants when I give help. I play on mobile so it tells me what help they gave me (I don't have a preference in my city name) and give that back. The only people I check what they want and make sure the get it are the people in my FS. If somebody complained about it I would change nothing.
Darielle
Chef, Scroll-Keeper, and Buddy Fan Club Member
Although I'd probably do the same if I ever actually had someone do this, for some reason the note conjured up in my imagination, which I'd probably never send, makes me feel better, lol.In my dealings with online folk, I try to remember that I have no clue what's going on in their lives. They may be dealing with depression or anxiety, they may have just been in a car wreck or had no sleep for a week with a sick baby, they may have autism or dementia. Some people are just mean, of course, but in that case, I figure it's even more important that I respond kindly and not in kind.
Ashrem
Oh Wise One
If I got to close discussions, some people would already have left in a huff.
And if it had anything to do with them agreeing with me, there'd be nobody left. at best I might agree with 80 or 90% of some of the people on here.
Once-in-a-while I report a post I think is violating the forum rules. Not even all of them, just the ones that seem unnecessarily rude. Apparently in this case, the mods agreed with me. I can honestly say I don't think they've ever disagreed, so I'm probably appropriately conservative.
There are lots of ways to show people what you think of them without direct, unsubstantiated, personal attacks. My own preference is a subtle note of condescension....
Ashrem
Oh Wise One
D'oh! all this time I just thought you were red.
I get probably 75 of the ones who I'm returning help to right. usually because it's past the time I want to be in bed and I'm just trying to be a good neighbor. As I said in the original post, the person in question has never helped me. If I help them, it's becuase I'm going through my complete list of 300 people. I'm sorry if me putting coins in their Main Hall somehow didn't help their "strategy" but there is no way it hurt it.
Since my default is Main Hall, that's not the case. There are no quests to not get coins.
I pick main hall deliberately because I'm almost always helping late in the evening, which means small cities are probably not going to get any culture benefits for more than a few hours in the morning. I can think of no way that anyone gets hurt by having more coins in the main hall. At worst, they are a waste. A free waste.
Pheryll
Set Designer
Or potentially no increase at all if they already have 20 other main hall contributors within that time period.
First off, @Ashrem didn't close the thread, I did, and it wasn't about an opinion it was about the direction the thread was going. Not because someone asked for it to be closed.
Second, as noted, your posting in all bold does come across as "angry," just as all bold equates to "yelling." Just food for thought.
SoggyShorts
Mathematician par Excellence
It's also certainly against the spirit of Forum rule #4
ALL CAPS, Everything bold, random colors, Unnecessary font size
=Simply annoying to read
SoggyShorts
Mathematician par Excellence
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mucksterme
Oh Wise One
But if people didn't do those things, how would we know they are special?
Duke00012
Member
Then just don't read them. If you are annoyed, the rest of us don't need to know that.
Deleted User - 849411552
Guest
I didn't know before, but out of curiosity I just counted up and I see that I have 300 neighbours in the list (not counting the fellowship). I give all of them help every day, half in the morning and half in the late afternoon. There is no way I would attempt to omit any person, it would just be too awkward. I try to accommodate help preferences, but I always make some errors.
On the receiving side, the system works perfectly for me. My listed preferences are BH/MH. But there are enough folks who are giving cultural help that the sun continues to shine on my city. If everyone actually conformed to the preferences I would actually have a cultural deficit.
Just curious, is 300 neighbours the maximum that will show in the list? I continue to add provinces but the page count of neighbours (36 pages including the fellowship) does not seem to increase.
On the receiving side, the system works perfectly for me. My listed preferences are BH/MH. But there are enough folks who are giving cultural help that the sun continues to shine on my city. If everyone actually conformed to the preferences I would actually have a cultural deficit.
Just curious, is 300 neighbours the maximum that will show in the list? I continue to add provinces but the page count of neighbours (36 pages including the fellowship) does not seem to increase.
SoggyShorts
Mathematician par Excellence
I find it contributes to the warm feeling of community knowing everyone agrees that both the content and the format of your opinions are abrasive and annoying.
Zoof
Well-Known Member
My opinions on if I were to ever receive such a message is probably [to] waffle between "I don't care" and "I'm doing it to refill my own coin stash", with a sideways step towards head-tilting headgear-defoliating confusion that will often cause a short-circuit in the empty space inside my skull-warmer perch. Such confusion will almost always lead to me closing the message in the hopes that I will unremember it, and that they'll send an additional message with clarification to their position if it is really something they care about. If I'm forced to issue forth a reply to the increasingly urgent series of messages, I'd be utterly lost.
I want to thank @MaidenFair for ideas and materials that would allow me to craft a reply that could include a reasonable amount of tact. And depending on their politeness in their requests, take an extra moment to memorize where their city is in the numerous pages of neighbors so I can slow down a wee bit and give that spot a slight bit of extra care.
I want to thank @MaidenFair for ideas and materials that would allow me to craft a reply that could include a reasonable amount of tact. And depending on their politeness in their requests, take an extra moment to memorize where their city is in the numerous pages of neighbors so I can slow down a wee bit and give that spot a slight bit of extra care.
muffy.
Chef - Scroll-Keeper - Chandelier Swinger - EAA
@Ashrem , question … you said “Imagine someone sending …”
Did this really happen to you or were you just thinking what if it did ?
((((((( @Duke00012 ))))))) dont let other peeps opinions count for everyone’s opinions …. This is another where you shake your head … ya know ? We can just be the best we can be and weed through the rest .
Did this really happen to you or were you just thinking what if it did ?
((((((( @Duke00012 ))))))) dont let other peeps opinions count for everyone’s opinions …. This is another where you shake your head … ya know ? We can just be the best we can be and weed through the rest .
Ashrem
Oh Wise One
It happened to a me.
I currently have 329 on 37 pages. Perhaps you're neighbours went up at the same time your fellowship went down?
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